Discuss Detroit » Archives - July 2007 » A Priceless Detroit News piece « Previous Next »
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Dustin89
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Username: Dustin89

Post Number: 83
Registered: 07-2006
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 7:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

How's this for in-depth reporting?
http://detnews.com/apps/pbcs.d ll/article?AID=/20070803/UPDAT E/708030428/1003
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Ray1936
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Username: Ray1936

Post Number: 1740
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:38 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Reporter and Editor likely WSU journalism majors.

Wooops....wrong thread..... :-)
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Frenchman_in_the_d
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Username: Frenchman_in_the_d

Post Number: 165
Registered: 08-2006
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

English is not my native language, I've been in this country for a mere 2 years, and I still find this news piece immensely bothersome and ridiculous...

Yay for DETNEWS!
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Magnasco
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Username: Magnasco

Post Number: 227
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:46 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

All I could do was laugh. It got worse with each sentence. If you can call them sentences.
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Mackinaw
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Username: Mackinaw

Post Number: 3456
Registered: 02-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

As someone involved with publications for a long time now, I'll stand up for the News. This is crime blotter material. They're passing along the fact that this incident happened -- and it's a serious incident at that -- but they, and the police for that matter, don't now anything more yet. This is not meant to be in-depth reporting. The only additional fact we could have asked for at this point (and should have gotten) was the speed at which he was hit and who hit him (i.e. slow-rolling frieght train or Amtrak?)

Now, should be expect follow up and a more indepth piece...eh, probably not, this is the Detroit News we're talking about.
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Tetsua
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Username: Tetsua

Post Number: 1297
Registered: 01-2004
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:56 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have a new drinking game. Every time you read "...police said" take a shot.
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Jimaz
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Username: Jimaz

Post Number: 2837
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:57 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Check out the graphic U.S. map on this page: Auto locks are useful but no panacea.

They labeled Arizona as New Mexico and New Mexico as Idaho.

This appeared that way in the print edition today too.

(Message edited by Jimaz on August 03, 2007)
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Detroit_stylin
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Username: Detroit_stylin

Post Number: 4562
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 8:58 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ummmmm....did the staffers let one of their fifth grade kids write that piece?



-police said...

lol
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Mackinaw
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Username: Mackinaw

Post Number: 3457
Registered: 02-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 9:03 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Standard news style for attributing facts uses the word "said." No aphorisms like "commented" or "suggested" or "replied." You use "according to" when you quote a document or organization. If it comes from a person or group of people, you use "said." Past tense.

Journalism is simple, not flowery. Normally papers are written at a 8th grade level, high school level at the best (like WSJ). The Detroit papers operate at a 5th grade level. This means that no big words or very complicated sentences are used. I would rather have better writing, but let me say again, this was not bad journalistic writing...just a bit open ended because there aren't many details yet.
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Ray1936
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Username: Ray1936

Post Number: 1741
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 9:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jimaz, the last time I was in Idaho I was wishing I was in New Mexico........
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Jimaz
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Username: Jimaz

Post Number: 2839
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 9:19 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

May as well latch it here:


Map Goof
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Lilpup
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Username: Lilpup

Post Number: 2550
Registered: 06-2004
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 9:20 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

^^That could be MADD's mistake.
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Jimaz
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Username: Jimaz

Post Number: 2840
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 9:30 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


MADD

from Fusco Brothers by J.C. Duffy.

(Message edited by Jimaz on August 03, 2007)
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Dustin89
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Username: Dustin89

Post Number: 84
Registered: 07-2006
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 10:46 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The point of this thread was completely missed. When I originally posted this, the whole news piece was this:

"A man was struck and killed by a train last night on the city's southwest side."

And that was all there was to it. However, by the time you guys read this it had been updated and the additional paragraphs added. My whole point was it was a one-sentence news piece with no information, but more had been added by the time people on this forum saw it.
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Jimaz
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Username: Jimaz

Post Number: 2841
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 11:03 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Understood. I guess that's why I latched the above map. Things change.
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Rhymeswithrawk
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Username: Rhymeswithrawk

Post Number: 834
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 11:04 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

^^That could be MADD's mistake.

Nope. It says Detroit News in the bottom right. That means it is the paper's graphic.

As for all the police saids, there are certainly other ways to phrase it, but the story is going to need attribution. Maybe the paper went a bit overkill on this one, though.
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Mackinaw
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Username: Mackinaw

Post Number: 3458
Registered: 02-2005
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 11:18 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Gotcha, Dustin. That's funny. Yeah I'd say originally the story was a bit scant.
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Dustin89
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Username: Dustin89

Post Number: 85
Registered: 07-2006
Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 11:21 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Perhaps online newspapers have created a whole new lazy attitude: "I'll just post this one sentence and post the rest later."
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Michigan
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Username: Michigan

Post Number: 891
Registered: 04-2007
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 12:02 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Maybe the reporter and editors were drunk. They've never heard of READ? Reporters and Editors Against Drunk.... I have no idea what the next word should have been, police said.
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Jtw
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Username: Jtw

Post Number: 148
Registered: 06-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 2:22 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

the article takes place in SW detroit, and the author is clearly hispanic (Santiago Esparza). all things considered, it's not even really a very awkward article.

at least the grammar is correct... which is more than you could say for some reports in other parts of the city...
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Rhymeswithrawk
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Username: Rhymeswithrawk

Post Number: 842
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 2:47 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I have friends with last names like Ruiz and Sanchez who can't speak a lick of Spanish. You can't assume. Besides, while the article is in SW Detroit, Dix and Oakwood is not Mexican Town.
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Supergay
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Username: Supergay

Post Number: 68
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 2:59 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I'm retarded too!
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Diehard
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Username: Diehard

Post Number: 91
Registered: 03-2005
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 3:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

It's obviously a very early report for the online edition. Those things ARE thrown together very quickly, then updated when more information becomes available. It's no different than "this just in" on local TV news.
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Johnlodge
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Username: Johnlodge

Post Number: 1507
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Saturday, August 04, 2007 - 4:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This just in: The state of New Mexico has purchased Arizona, and sold it's previous land to Idaho. A spokesman from Idaho said "we just didn't have any more room for all the tourism and needed to expand." In unrelated news, Dan Gilbert has decided to build his Quicken HQ in New Idaho, police said.

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