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Raptor56
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Username: Raptor56

Post Number: 564
Registered: 05-2007
Posted on Monday, October 27, 2008 - 3:57 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Yes, the Lions are a joke, but unlike our fine feathered team, these jokes wil make you laugh instead of cry...


The Michigan State Police are cracking down on speeders heading into Detroit . For the first offense, they give you two Detroit Lions tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.



Q. What do you call 47 millionaires around a TV watching
the Super Bowl?
A. The Detroit Lions.

Q. What do the Detroit Lions and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.

Q. How do you keep the Detroit Lions out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.



Q. Where do you go in Detroit in case of a tornado?
A. To the Detroit Lions Stadium - they never have a touchdown there!



Q. What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A. A thief.



Q. What's the difference between the Detroit Lions and a dollar bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.



Q. How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. Nobody knows and we may never find out.



Q. What do the Detroit Lions and a possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.


Anybody else have some good nuggets of laughter?
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Hornist9
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Username: Hornist9

Post Number: 158
Registered: 05-2005
Posted on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 11:23 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Raptor, Here's my take on Gridiron Heroes (the Loins fight Song)

Backwards up the field,
A Lions team that they will yield
Another touchdown to our Foes
And that will add to the fans woes
LOSE, LOSE, LOSE!

Lions fans in Hell,
Because Old Man Ford he won't sell,
Millen couldn't think
So thus the Lions Stink!
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Bigb23
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Username: Bigb23

Post Number: 2754
Registered: 11-2007
Posted on Saturday, November 01, 2008 - 10:46 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)



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Detroitchef
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Username: Detroitchef

Post Number: 32
Registered: 09-2008
Posted on Sunday, November 23, 2008 - 3:18 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Detroit(AP) A Detroit courthouse was the site of a landmark legal decision today. A ten year old boy was removed from his parents custody due to their continued abuse and neglect of his person. When the judge attempted to place the boy in the care of his grandmother, the boy admitted in tears before the court that the grandmother beat him severely for her amusement also. When the judge attempted to place the boy in the care of his aunt, citing the need for familial members to care for each other, the child testified that she too beat him in the past.

After due consideration and an investigation by Detroit Child Protective Services, the judge decided to break legal precedent and allow the minor to choose his new guardian from a short list of approved guardians. The boy selected the Detroit Lions as his new legal guardians, on the premise that there was no chance the Lions would ever be able to beat anyone in the foreseeable future.
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20043_stotter
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Username: 20043_stotter

Post Number: 689
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Thursday, November 27, 2008 - 9:57 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Here's another twist.

Mama and Papa Lion are accused of child abuse. Baby Lion is put on the stand to testify and is asked by the judge, "Do you want to live with Papa Lion?"

"No," Baby Lion replies, "he beats me."

Then the judge asks, "Do you want to live with Mama Lion?"

"No," Baby LIon replies, "she beats me too."

So the Judge says, "Who do you want to live with then?"

Baby Lion replies, "I want to live with the Detroit Lions, they don't beat anybody."
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20043_stotter
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Username: 20043_stotter

Post Number: 717
Registered: 03-2007
Posted on Saturday, December 06, 2008 - 4:49 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Here's one :

ANTHRAX SCARE AT FORD FIELD

Detroit, Michigan - Saturday, December 6, 2008.

Detroit Lions football practice was delayed nearly two hours this afternoon after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Rod Marinelli immediately suspended practice while police and federal agents were called to investigate.

After a complete analysis, Michigan State Police forensic experts determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the goal line. Practice was resumed after the forensic experts decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
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Dannyoshow
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Username: Dannyoshow

Post Number: 21
Registered: 09-2007
Posted on Tuesday, December 09, 2008 - 9:21 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)



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Hornist9
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Username: Hornist9

Post Number: 177
Registered: 05-2005
Posted on Monday, December 15, 2008 - 11:14 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Dannyoshow,

Wayne Fonts as coach, a record of 10-6 and a first round playoff loss would sure look good about now, wouldn't it...

Don't give up the ship, the Loins will do it, they'll have a perfect winless season....
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Hornist9
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Username: Hornist9

Post Number: 178
Registered: 05-2005
Posted on Monday, December 15, 2008 - 11:18 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I just remembered this one...John Kitna predicting the Loins would win 10 games this year...

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

You know, Alan Shore, you're a hoot!!!
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Somebidder1
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Username: Somebidder1

Post Number: 12
Registered: 12-2008
Posted on Tuesday, December 16, 2008 - 1:48 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

a bunch of joke parody holiday songs here:

http://losinglions.com

enjoy!

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