Discuss Detroit Archives - Beginning January 2006 Worst column I've seen all week about Detroit Previous Next
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Kilgore_south
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Username: Kilgore_south

Post Number: 14
Registered: 05-2005
Posted From: 12.159.227.194
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:27 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I haven't seen this little gem mentioned anywhere here yet. So I'll take a break from my usual lurking and throw it out there...

From the Jeff Hawkins of the Northwest Herald in Crystal Lake, IL (suburban Chicago):

Welcome to Detroit; nothing to see here

I've had Google News alerts coming in all week with articles and columns by out-of-towners about their Detroit experience. Actually a lot more positive coverage than I expected. But among all the negative pieces, this one wins the medal for most cynical and ignorant. A couple of typical passages:

"You take a few hours to absorb the atmosphere then take a deep breath of the Detroit River. 'What is that smell?'"

"OK, what about the Detroit Zoo?
The bus driver slams on his breaks. 'Are you serious? Animals are not allowed to live in that mess.'"

"Now you know why Jimmy Kimmel has so much material."

I know his paper's pretty small potatoes, but it still pisses me off that there are ignoramuses like this out there.
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Wmuchris
Member
Username: Wmuchris

Post Number: 179
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 69.51.137.10
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:33 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Pure Garbage....

This one takes the cake for the most juvinile, ignorant and useless article that I've read all week.

What kind of no-talent ass-clowns does that paper hire?
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Shave
Member
Username: Shave

Post Number: 1003
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 172.132.201.3
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:44 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

It appears that Chicago is taking the Superbowl in Detroit pretty hard. Is it jealousy? Is it envy? A combination of both? Hmmm....
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Ddmoore54
Member
Username: Ddmoore54

Post Number: 270
Registered: 07-2004
Posted From: 69.242.220.249
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:51 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Yeah, this city sucks because this turd couldn't decide where he wanted to go before getting on a bus.
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Wmuchris
Member
Username: Wmuchris

Post Number: 183
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 69.51.137.10
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:59 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

OK me stepping on a bus in Chicago.

Bus Driver: "Hello"
Me: "Hey, does this bus go to Shedd Aquarium"
Bus Driver: Sorry wrong bus"

Me: "Take me to Union Station?"
Bus Driver: "Sorry wrong bus"

Me: "Take me to the Navy Peir"
Bus Driver: "Sorry wrong bus"

Me: "Man, what the F is up with this town. Chicago sucks, and have you smelled this place? I'll bet they eat a lot of hot dogs in this god-forsaken hell hole.

"Now I know what I am going to write my column about. This shitty town!! My high school newspaper advisor is going to be real proud"

FIN
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Rotation_slim
Member
Username: Rotation_slim

Post Number: 32
Registered: 10-2005
Posted From: 68.249.9.14
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 2:10 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

My email to author of said column:

In your column on Detroit you cycle through a bunch of very interesting and worthy sites in the Motor City, then you reveal that you are not smart enough to get yourself there.

Do you jump on Mass Transit back home and just tell the driver where to take you? It takes some intelligence, but try it this way next time... figure out where you want to go... THEN get a bus that goes by there... If you are having trouble figuring out how a bus works.. ask a friendly Superbowl volunteer. I am tempted to toss a "short bus" joke here.. but the would be insulting to special needs students.

Your opening line about the Riots which happened 38 years ago was inspired... most writers have moved past that.. but you show remarkable sense of history in your cheap shot. I am just wondering did you read this column when you were done and marvel at your wit and insight... clearly you must have some degree of intelligent to have landed a job at a newspaper.. I challenge you to come up with some original thoughts on the motor city.. and not just rehash 40 year old cheap shots and moan about that fact that you can not figure out how to ride a bus.

I look forward to a personal reply from you, anything less will be taken by me to be an admission that my take is correct, and you are a hack.
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Kilgore_south
Member
Username: Kilgore_south

Post Number: 16
Registered: 05-2005
Posted From: 12.159.227.194
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 2:19 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

And by the way, has the People Mover actually been down at all this week, as Mr. assclown said? I haven't been able to get away from my west-Michigan bunker to come down and check it out.
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Psip
Member
Username: Psip

Post Number: 1005
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 69.246.13.131
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 2:36 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Very good, Rotation_slim, very good!


The People Mover, most likely, is to complex for him to understand. Putting money in a slot and waking thru a turnstile requires advanced intelligence.

(Message edited by Psip on February 03, 2006)
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Mackinaw
Member
Username: Mackinaw

Post Number: 1177
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 141.213.173.94
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 2:47 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I just wrote him a fiery email, too.

I feel so much better.
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Vas
Member
Username: Vas

Post Number: 482
Registered: 01-2004
Posted From: 24.180.76.186
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 2:57 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

just plain stupid, its lack of insightful criticism reminds me of that dumbass animated cartoon clip
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Eric
Member
Username: Eric

Post Number: 320
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 35.11.210.7
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 2:59 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Great letter Rotation_slim intelligent, funny it really put that unoriginal asshat in his place
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Ericdfan
Member
Username: Ericdfan

Post Number: 98
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 68.41.117.60
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 7:48 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Jeff Hawkins is a sportswriter for the Northwest Herald.

Why are sportswriters even writing about the city? aren't they paid to write about um...sports? lol

I guess there is nothing better to write about in Chicago these days after all we all know what great teams the Blackhawks and Bulls are.
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Rbdetsport
Member
Username: Rbdetsport

Post Number: 60
Registered: 11-2005
Posted From: 68.60.133.115
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 8:26 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Chicago is killing Detroit right now with there articles.
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Jjw
Member
Username: Jjw

Post Number: 40
Registered: 10-2005
Posted From: 68.33.56.156
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 8:43 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

this article is written from a suburban Chicago point of view. I bet, although not certain, that the writer is or has been negative on reporting of events in the city of Chicago also. folks from the burbs across the country have a commonality--fear of life!--as evidenced by this guys inability to find the correct form of mass transit to get from point A to point B. I bet his parents are so proud knowing they raised an idiot who can't read a map.
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Mj64
Member
Username: Mj64

Post Number: 53
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 68.40.177.3
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 9:17 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This loser's paper is based in Crystal Lake -- a nothing suburb about 50 miles northwest of Chicago. He's no Chicago sportswriter -- he just works for a small paper that's lucky enough to be close to Chiacgo.

Any dumbass who rips Detroit because his shuttle didn't go where he wanted needs to go back to covering Crystal Lake's high school teams.

I lived in Chicago for 7 years and you're all right -- he could have written the same article about Chicago. He's a suburban poseur-whiner who's probably upset that he couldn't park his SUV on the street right in front of his hotel.
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Ilovedetroit
Member
Username: Ilovedetroit

Post Number: 2031
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 63.149.5.130
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 10:21 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I would normally ignore these comments but I sent this jerk a little note telling him what I thought.
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Jtw
Member
Username: Jtw

Post Number: 63
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 12.159.32.66
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 11:03 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

don't worry about this piece, guys.
"The bus driver slams on his breaks. "
neither the author, NOR THE EDITOR, of this paper knows how to proofread for "brakes."
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Jtw
Member
Username: Jtw

Post Number: 64
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 12.159.32.66
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 11:03 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

i guess that's assuming they actually have an editor.
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Bunny
Member
Username: Bunny

Post Number: 16
Registered: 01-2006
Posted From: 69.215.202.130
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:52 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

They probably just do spellcheck!
IF the bus driver actually said that about the Detroit Zoo he should get some of the blame... he obviously hasn't been to the Zoo since the 70's.
But the Detroit River? I'd rather smell that any day than downtown Chicago... now THAT stinks!
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Jimelnino
Member
Username: Jimelnino

Post Number: 340
Registered: 06-2005
Posted From: 68.250.97.237
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 1:55 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I've never even noticed that the river smells like anything.

I don't think Chicago could BE any more jealous right now, how funny!
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Funkycarrie
Member
Username: Funkycarrie

Post Number: 150
Registered: 02-2004
Posted From: 69.208.32.222
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 3:06 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

maybe he's really not in Detroit? Maybe he doesn't know how to fly either?

I saw the people mover FULL last night, and I got a cab just fine :-)
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Cris
Member
Username: Cris

Post Number: 350
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 71.227.26.44
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 3:36 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

As someone who used to work at one of the local versions of that little suburban paper, I can take a stab at describing that writer for you:

He is not particularly talented or well-connected, because he's not working at one of the bigger dailies. He probably makes around $20K a year, and spends most of his time covering high school sports. He's a little bitter because this is apparently the best thing he can get in journalism and he isn't getting any younger. It's highly doubtful that his employer paid to send him to the Super Bowl, so if he is even actually here, he did it on his vacation time and paid for it himself. He's tapped into Chicago's obvious jealousy and bitterness over Detroit hosting this event when they see themselves as being bigger and better than us... but actually he doesn't even live or work in Chicago so it's just his attempt to feel bigger than he really is... which is not very.
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Dnvn522
Member
Username: Dnvn522

Post Number: 92
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 204.24.64.25
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 4:00 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

"Well, is this bus going by the J.L. Hudson Department store on Woodward Avenue?"

LMAO!!! Like Hudsons was a huge tourist destination even 10 years ago...

What an asshat.
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Fnemecek
Member
Username: Fnemecek

Post Number: 1493
Registered: 12-2004
Posted From: 70.236.175.64
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 4:13 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

It's interesting how all of the bad press can be filled into three categories.

#1. Those who don't like our weather (sorry - we really can't do much about that one).

#2. Those who complain about EVERYTHING. SBXL could be played in Vegas, Miami or anywhere else - with free hookers, drinks and tickets for everyone - and they'd still find a way to make fun of it.

#3. Folks from cities that have never had a Super Bowl, are jealous that Detroit is hosting its second and even more jealous of the fact that we'll probably get our third Super Bowl before they even get their first.

Jeff Hawkins is the president of group #3.
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Panson
Member
Username: Panson

Post Number: 780
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 207.91.250.131
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 4:15 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The "68 civil rights riots"? '68? Hum, did we have a riot I didn't know about?
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Fnemecek
Member
Username: Fnemecek

Post Number: 1494
Registered: 12-2004
Posted From: 70.236.175.64
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 4:19 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

World series championship. Race riot.

It's easy to get them mixed-up.

*sigh*

This is why Mr. Hawkins has been banished to the distant suburbs of Chi-town.
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Dabirch
Member
Username: Dabirch

Post Number: 1358
Registered: 06-2004
Posted From: 208.44.117.10
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 4:20 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Kind of hard to believe it took 25 posts before somebody caught that
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Psip
Member
Username: Psip

Post Number: 1008
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 69.246.13.131
Posted on Friday, February 03, 2006 - 4:24 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Detroit did have a mini riot in 1968. It started at Cass Tech. I was there.
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Ltrain
Member
Username: Ltrain

Post Number: 70
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 69.212.59.139
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 3:56 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This is his response to my email. If this is true he is a bigger turd than any of us could have imagined.

"This is Jeff Hawkins of the Northwest Herald.

Thank you for your reply regarding my recent Detroit column.

Since you took the time to write, the angle was a satirical look at the city from someone who grew up in the Detroit suburbs and worked downtown for several years.

Hope you enjoy the Super Bowl."
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Urbanator
Member
Username: Urbanator

Post Number: 70
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 69.14.166.158
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 5:54 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Rupert Cornwell reports from "America's Pompeii"

http://news.independent.co.uk/ world/americas/article343098.e ce

Rupert must be the life of the party.
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Mj64
Member
Username: Mj64

Post Number: 56
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 68.40.177.3
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 8:49 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hawkins' article was satire? Does he know what satire is? I'd say his column was idiotic, full of errors and appears to have been written 15 minutes before his deadline.

I see that his paper wrote that Jeff "appeared" to have suggested that the People Mover was not working when, in fact, it was. Jeff was probably absent the day his classmates learned that the Detroit riots were in 1967, not 68. And while they happened, I wouldn't say the city staged them any more than Chicago staged its big riots in '68.

I'm waiting now for Jeff's column about how lucky he feels to have a job writing newspaper columns, when it appears he has little talent to be doing so.
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Mcdirt
Member
Username: Mcdirt

Post Number: 22
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 65.29.98.237
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 3:40 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Folks....re-read link to his column, and check out the corrections...freshly added at the bottom!
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Ilovedetroit
Member
Username: Ilovedetroit

Post Number: 2041
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 68.40.173.250
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 3:54 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I sent him an email basically calling him an illiterate moron and this was his reply...my reply back was not nearly as nice as my first. Once a jerk always a jerk! His response to me below:

"This is Jeff Hawkins of the Northwest Herald.

Thank you for your reply regarding my recent Detroit column.

Since you took the time to write, the angle was a satirical look at the city from someone who grew up in the Detroit suburbs and worked downtown for several years.

Hope you enjoy the Super Bowl. "
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Supersport
Member
Username: Supersport

Post Number: 9875
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 69.246.37.236
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 5:13 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

1968 riots eh? What a fuckin' jackass. He can't even get his history facts straight.
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Spaceboykelly
Member
Username: Spaceboykelly

Post Number: 118
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 69.246.30.248
Posted on Saturday, February 04, 2006 - 7:15 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

This article illustrates why sportswriters should not be allowed to review cities, or take public transportation.

I've used the bus several times in the past week, and I managed to make it to my desired destination every time.

The part that confused me was:

"'OK, what about the Detroit Zoo?'

The bus driver slams on his breaks.

'Are you serious? Animals are not allowed to live in that mess.'"

What in the world does that mean? Have the zoo animals been vacated/exterminated?

Also, what does this article even say about Detroit?

Jeff Hawkins should be praising the bus driver for warning his ignorant ass not to get off in the "wrong part of town."
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Rotation_slim
Member
Username: Rotation_slim

Post Number: 33
Registered: 10-2005
Posted From: 68.74.28.188
Posted on Sunday, February 05, 2006 - 3:34 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hawkins must be getting hammered with responses... as the email response posted is exactly the same as he sent to me... so he is just shooting out a form letter to everyone.

Keep an eye on that word "Satire"... There is more to this story.. I will share that with you later... stay tuned.

BTW he says he lived here and worked in Detroit.. .has anyone heard of him or know him.. I am looking into his background a bit... if anyone has anything to offer please email me at troytruth@oohay.com (flip around domain name, should read "yahoo")
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Mj64
Member
Username: Mj64

Post Number: 58
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 141.211.48.211
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 2:02 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

There is more to this story. I was just looking through Hawkins' paper online -- it seems he wasn't even in Detroit, but just wrote his lame-ass article to suggest that he was.

http://archive.nwherald.com/ar chive_detail.php?archiveFile=. /pubfiles/nwh/archive/2006/Feb ruary/05/Columnists/76098.xml& start=0&numPer=20&keyword=jeff +hawkins&sectionSearch=&begind ate=1%2F31%2F2006&enddate=12%2 F31%2F2006&authorSearch=&Inclu deStories=1&pubsection=&page=& IncludePages=&IncludeImages=&m ode=phrase&publicationSearch[]=Northwest+Herald&archive_pu bname=Northwest+Herald%0A%09%0 9%09
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Czar
Member
Username: Czar

Post Number: 2913
Registered: 11-2003
Posted From: 129.137.173.148
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 2:10 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I had a truck cap installed in Crystal Lake once. Consider the source, nothing but a bunch of hillbillies out there.
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Mj64
Member
Username: Mj64

Post Number: 59
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 141.211.48.211
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 2:12 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I drove through CR once. As Jeff Hawkins might say, "Nothing to see there."

Here's what I don't get -- the article says he worked for the Freep from '91-to'93, and NOW he works for the Northwest Herald? Seems to me you'd start at a paper like the Herald and try to get a job at a bigger city newspaper. Did the Freep can him for writing crap? Was he an intern?
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Everyman
Member
Username: Everyman

Post Number: 35
Registered: 11-2005
Posted From: 24.136.14.239
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 2:48 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

lolololololololol

Jeff, you look to be at least in your mid-30s.

I assume articles like the one referenced in the subject line are why you are still toiling away at a paper with a Sunday circulation of under 40,000*.

Good day, and enjoy, at best, mediocrity**.

*Source: Audit Bureau of Circulations FAS-FAX, March 2005, Average Net Paid Circulation.
** I have a sneaking suspicion that labeling you as mediocre is an insult to those that truly are.
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401frank
Member
Username: 401frank

Post Number: 1
Registered: 12-2005
Posted From: 198.208.159.19
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 2:51 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I say someone with Free Press connections research whether or not he actually worked there. If it turns out he embellished his resume', I think his editors should know about it!
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Eastsidechris
Member
Username: Eastsidechris

Post Number: 74
Registered: 12-2003
Posted From: 66.238.170.50
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 3:40 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Here's his editor's explanation of the whole thing:
http://www.nwherald.com/MainSe ction/krug/360472745403386.php

I think the confusion from the style of the article explains everything you need to know about why he went from the Free Press to Hickville.
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Busterwmu
Member
Username: Busterwmu

Post Number: 199
Registered: 09-2004
Posted From: 24.247.221.241
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 4:11 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

People Mover is two words and most busses have BRAKES not BREAKS which help them stop. Maybe in Illinois they have BREAKS and that's part of the problem.

PS - the riots were in '67.
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Mackinaw
Member
Username: Mackinaw

Post Number: 1199
Registered: 02-2005
Posted From: 141.213.173.94
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 4:21 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

"Nonetheless, the column should not have been published without some kind of explanation to readers that made it clear that he was not in Detroit."

More like "the column should not have been publisihed" as written. Period. I said in my email that I was suprised that so much of that column went unedited.

Thanks for the update, Eastside.
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Warriorfan
Member
Username: Warriorfan

Post Number: 255
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 68.43.81.191
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 5:50 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

So he pulled a Mitch Albom?
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Cris
Member
Username: Cris

Post Number: 360
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 71.227.26.44
Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 6:06 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Journalists do not go from a job at the Detroit Free Press to a job in Hicksville, USA unless they totally screw up, or the "job" was just an internship. Actually, he'd be lucky to get an internship there... or possibly he worked there, but it was in classified ad sales or some such. Or he was a freelancer.

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