  Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 402 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
On whether we should remain living Detroit. This is a very difficult situation and we're interested in hearing your views. We're married and parents of 3 young children. Our home is too small for the 5 of us. Our children will start full-time pre-school in fall and we don't know where we'll send them. We are exploring pre-schools in Livonia and Farmington right now but we're certain it will cost us some serious money, i.e. - tuition, gas. Our current home is worth approx. $90 - $100,000 and we're not even confident we'll be able to find a buyer at this price. Our neighborhood is always dirty and I'm tired of cleaning everyone's mess. Our neighbors openly smoke weed in their backyard and we have to take our kids inside. This is a regular occurance during summer. Across street is a drug house, which I have reported 3 times to the Wayne County Sheriffs Office but the activity continues, especially during the summer. When we take our kids for walks, we have to be very careful and watch out for speeding cars, broken glass, loose dogs, and abandoned buildings/houses. I walk with a stick just in case. There are some positive things such as friends that we've known for years. They usually honk their horns at us when they see us. Despite the filth, we've practically never been bothered by anyone during our walks or bike rides. There are also a few business owners that we've known for years where we can stop in and say hi. In the end, I keep asking myself if this is fair to my wife and kids? I keep saying it's not fair to them. Financially, although things are very tough, we are capable of living outside Detroit and enjoying a much better quality of life, i.e. - parks, schools, safety, proximity of stores serving our needs, etc. Please share your honest opinions as to whether we should remain in Detroit or leave. | ||
Cheddar_bob Member Username: Cheddar_bob Post Number: 593 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 69.246.74.205 |
How about finding a different place in Detroit? | ||
Jams Member Username: Jams Post Number: 3141 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 68.79.166.214 |
You're asking a question only you and your wife can answer. I love living in the City, but I'm only responsible for myself, no wife, no children. I'd love you to stay, but if I were in your situation my main concern would be the children. | ||
Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 404 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
CB: Where would you suggest? Jams: Thanks. If I were single, there'd be no question about making Detroit my home. | ||
Millingtond Member Username: Millingtond Post Number: 8 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 69.128.233.36 |
If you stay there child protective services should be called and your kids hauled off and moved somewhere safe. I'll assume your not that bright if you have to ask this question on a forum and not decide for yourself. That your putting your kids in danger living across from a drughouse. | ||
Blessyouboys Member Username: Blessyouboys Post Number: 370 Registered: 07-2005 Posted From: 69.209.170.62 |
Milling, if you don't have anything nice to say, er, know how to say anything, please don't say anything at all. | ||
Jt1 Member Username: Jt1 Post Number: 7182 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 198.208.159.18 |
Do you have a need or desire to stay on the same side of the city? I am assuming from your post that you are a Westsider. Is it only the Westside for you or anywhere? | ||
Andysrc Member Username: Andysrc Post Number: 70 Registered: 07-2005 Posted From: 209.220.229.254 |
Do what's right for the family, whether it's leaving Detroit completely, or just finding a new place within the city. From your description, it seems like you might be better off in a different neighborhood. No sense in having a negative environment for your kids if you don't have to. | ||
Jsmyers Member Username: Jsmyers Post Number: 1617 Registered: 12-2003 Posted From: 209.131.7.68 |
If you can't afford a house you want, where you want it....with housing prices generally on the decline or at least not rising, it may be wise to rent. Hamtramck might be a good place. Maybe the edges of West Village or Corktown, or Other neighborhoods in SW Detroit. Or any other place in a 139 Square Mile City with almost 900,000 people. It sounds like you want to move (and have good reasons for it). Don't forget there is a lot more to Detroit than your neighborhood....and it isn't all the same. Realize that if you move move well out of the city, you won't likely have many chances to walk in your neighborhood, and if you do, you are likely to deal with some of the same issues. Don't let the fact that moving will cause a change lead you to put on rose colored glasses and think that all of your problems will disappear. You should do what you and your wife think is best. Good luck. | ||
Ndavies Member Username: Ndavies Post Number: 1739 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 129.9.163.233 |
Why? The only opinions that matter are those of your wife, children and extended family. You have to decide the right thing to do for them. Your decision means nothing to us. We don't have to live with your decisions. Those decisions have great consequences for your family. Why would you even care about the opinions of anonymous strangers when it comes to your family? | ||
Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 405 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
Thanks for the comments so far. I won't even go there with millingtond. What I'm gathering is what we continue to conclude - leave Detroit and do what's right for my family. | ||
Jsmyers Member Username: Jsmyers Post Number: 1618 Registered: 12-2003 Posted From: 209.131.7.68 |
I think you just answered your question for yourself. I read all of these posts, and what I got out of it was: Look around for other places in Detroit, but move if you don't find anything. Your bias shows in your last post, which to me says that you have your mind made up. | ||
Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 406 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
Damn, it's like every word written gets so many interpretations that you can't even ask a question without getting blasted. Some of you need to chill. | ||
Broken_main Member Username: Broken_main Post Number: 1068 Registered: 06-2005 Posted From: 68.42.79.6 |
Morena, my wife and I was confronted with a very similar dilemma as you and your family. 3 kids and us, yet i work for the city and I wanted to stay in Detroit. My wife did not feel comfortable in the city seeing that she is not a city person. We lived in the same type of neighborhood as you do, drug house next door to us, people not cleaning up their messes. I let my wife decide on where it was that she wanted to live. We checked, Rosedale Park, and other areas in Detroitas well as Harper Woods, Livonia, Redford, Lincoln park, Taylor, and numerous others. We drove by one development in the city of Detroit and she fell in love with it. We put the down payment on the condo January and moved in February. Everything has worked out so far. We feel secure and we have an up and coming neighborhood, close to the River and downtown and it is very walkable and it is said to be one of the safest areas in detroit. Of course we have the same problems as any family would have but we haven't had any problems within our little commuinity. | ||
Eastsidedog Member Username: Eastsidedog Post Number: 246 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 12.47.224.7 |
Good point Jams, I very much agree. But Morena, Detroit is a big city. It sounds like you're ruling out the rest of the city, which is all too common for middle class families nowadays. I agree that in your price range ($100k?) nice family-oriented neighborhoods are hard to come by. The nice and clean family oriented neighborhoods with existing homes are generally in the 150k-300k+ range. But there are a few areas in that price range that were formerly bad and now are improving, but are still perceived to be tough places for children, plus the house will likely need some fixing up. But realisitcally, if you aren't having real crime problems and you think it might be hard to sell your house you might want to wait until the economy improves in a couple years. On the other hand if you really think the neighborhood is getting worse rather than better, then a move might be in order. Just my 2 cents. | ||
Track75 Member Username: Track75 Post Number: 2307 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 12.75.22.9 |
What are you looking for, permission, reassurance, a little poke at the city? You post your question at 2:24 p.m. and your conclusion at 3:03 p.m. on a very important and complicated issue. You're getting "blasted" because although you have been on here a long time your posts sounded trollish. Do what you think is right for you, if you're genuinely interested in successfully raising kids in Detroit there are forumers doing just that but they're not going to respond to what sounds like a veiled "I'm sick of the city, I'm leaving and I want to vent" post. | ||
Spitty Member Username: Spitty Post Number: 460 Registered: 07-2004 Posted From: 136.2.1.103 |
Move to Lincoln Park. It's a decent place with homes in your range and still pretty close to Detroit. I grew up there and I turned out pretty OK. | ||
Jsmyers Member Username: Jsmyers Post Number: 1619 Registered: 12-2003 Posted From: 209.131.7.68 |
I'm sorry if you think I'm twisting words.
From my Point of View, this statement equates moving past the city limits with doing what's right. Also, from my POV, that isn't really what most of us where writing. Therefore, I think you really have made up your mind on the inside. I didn't mean for "bias" to be a bad thing. Just that you are looking for something here even though you're already leaning towards one specific decision. It is really just like NDavies wrote, our opinions don't matter. Just your family. All I can do is encourage you to keep an open mind and then wish you well. Good luck, I hope whatever you do it turns out for the best. | ||
Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 407 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
Thank you Broken-Main/Eastsidedog. Track75 - calm down boy. I'm not asking for permission, not poking, and not seeking any reassurance from anyone. Simply put, I've been in Detroit for 35 years and my wife just as long. Our families and roots are here and I'm just asking a question. | ||
Eastsidedog Member Username: Eastsidedog Post Number: 247 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 12.47.224.7 |
Morena, I can't speak for the whole city but there are some nice housing options in the east riverfront area near to downtown, including Lafayette Park and West Village. Lafayette Park is very safe and clean, has nice size townhouses, condos and rental apartments and has very nice playgrounds and the Chrysler School (DPS) which is an excellent elementary school -- one of the best in the state. The West Village area (just 5 minutes east) offers moderate to large old homes in a wide variety of price ranges and conditions with proximity to Belle Isle and the Waldorf Academy (in Indian Village) where I know they offer preschool. Our neighbor is planning on enrolling his four year old son there. Hope this helps. | ||
Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 408 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
TY much jsmeyers!!! | ||
Rsa Member Username: Rsa Post Number: 827 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 69.212.224.127 |
morena; you issued a fairly definitive statement, which might be the reason you got the impression to have gotten blasted. however, i don't think what jsmyers sed was too harsh. but i agree with you: everybody needs to chill out a little. it's not unreasonable to ask a simple opinion from a group of like-minded individuals who (should) have the capacity to seriously consider an answer without interpreting an alterior motive. so here's my $.02: try looking around lafayette park. there's a townhouse for sale over in the classifieds ( < ). they usually run between $95k - $130k for 1500 sq.ft., 3 bedrooms, 1.5 bath, and a full basement. they are close by many great schools: chrysler elementary, the woodward academy, the friends school, and the waldorf school (the latter two in indian village). walking distance to downtown, great neighbors, large park, and you don't have to worry about yard maintenance. if you don't like those townhouses, there are many other fine places to live for around your houses price. i think it really comes down to what you guys are looking for. i've found that the suburbs are great for yards, newer homes, and many good public schools (not saying dps isn't good). what it usually lacks is the walkability, diversity, history, multitude of entertainment venues, and strong community. i'm not saying that this is how it is everywhere, this is just my impression of places and why i've stayed in the city. so morena, i'd prioritize and see what you're willing to sacrifice for the other. [also of note: i do not have children] hope this helps. | ||
Jfried Member Username: Jfried Post Number: 808 Registered: 11-2003 Posted From: 209.131.7.190 |
The guy obviously just wanted to hear some opinions, but so many of you just have to act like assholes. of course he's not going to make a decision based exclusively on a bunch of internet posts, but it can't hurt to give him a little encouragement. once in a while people need to be reminded of why they should stay in detroit - this doesn't make him some traitor. | ||
Eastsidedog Member Username: Eastsidedog Post Number: 248 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 12.47.224.7 |
Stated well. Thank you Jfried. Now back to the point of this discussion. | ||
Jsmyers Member Username: Jsmyers Post Number: 1620 Registered: 12-2003 Posted From: 209.131.7.68 |
Can somebody help me out please? I'm missing something (acronym or jargon). What does TY mean? | ||
Crew Member Username: Crew Post Number: 932 Registered: 02-2004 Posted From: 146.9.52.45 |
Thank You | ||
Jfried Member Username: Jfried Post Number: 810 Registered: 11-2003 Posted From: 209.131.7.190 |
There seem to be tons of families in the East English Village area - there are always kids playing out in their front yards. Same in Hamtramck. | ||
Cmubryan Member Username: Cmubryan Post Number: 244 Registered: 11-2003 Posted From: 68.79.97.231 |
I definitely want to echo what RSA said about the Lafayette Townhomes, I just took a tour of one yesterday and it was very nice (comparable to anything in the burbs) and not slummy in the least bit. It is also pretty quiet and safe (I can attest to this living in The Pavilion Apts next door). If you like mid century architecture, its definitely one of the most striking and beautiful neighborhoods in Detroit. | ||
Jt1 Member Username: Jt1 Post Number: 7183 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 198.208.251.22 |
JFried - That's what I was thinking but the first post made mention of Livonia and Farmington so I was thinking that Morena was a Westsider and wanted to stay on the west side. That is why I asked the question above. I agree though - great option. | ||
Kova Member Username: Kova Post Number: 217 Registered: 12-2003 Posted From: 141.213.184.173 |
Move to dearborn. | ||
Spacemonkey Member Username: Spacemonkey Post Number: 11 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 63.102.87.27 |
You should definitely move. Why not move somewhere warm; like down south? | ||
Millingtond Member Username: Millingtond Post Number: 9 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 69.128.233.36 |
What you should really do it remove yourself from the gene pool. Asking what you should do on Detroit Yes is like asking Elementary school kids to plan your retirement. | ||
Jt1 Member Username: Jt1 Post Number: 7194 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 198.208.159.18 |
Always funny seeing that when you are posting on the board. What time is recess? | ||
Gianni Member Username: Gianni Post Number: 225 Registered: 05-2004 Posted From: 209.104.144.90 |
I will second the comments about Lafayette Park. There are always a few coop units available. Or you could try the apartments like Lafayette Towers or Pavillion if you want to see what the neighborhood is like. The rent is very reasonable and they have nice pools! This is a great neighborhood for kids. Chrysler is a great school. Check out their MEAP scores, comparable to the best schools in the state. They have full day kindergarten, and the teacher is very good. Many of the kindergarten kids are starting to read. The park is clean and safe. You can walk to the river, Greektown, Eastern Market, CM park and the CBD, Ford Field, Comerica, etc. You can walk to the People Mover and take that if you don't feel like walking too far, and the kids always love it. There are many churches withing walking distance. There is a good and reasonable preschool run out of the Jefferson Ave Presb. Church in Indian Village, Friends school has a pre K program, and there are other preschool options nearby. Last night I took my two girls, 6 and 9 for a drive to the main post office to mail my taxes, a yearly ritual. We had with us their 7 year old cousin from Canton who was spending the night. I took the scenic route along Atwater, behind the Ren Cen. Had to do a little detour because I hit the hockey traffic behind Cobo and Joe Louis. She was impressed. She said "you guys live near a lot of cool things." My six year old without any prompting said proudly, "we live close to a lot of things we like to do." You might want to give it a try. We could always use more kids in the neighborhood. | ||
Jt1 Member Username: Jt1 Post Number: 7199 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 198.208.159.18 |
That is priceless. | ||
Andylinn Member Username: Andylinn Post Number: 17 Registered: 04-2006 Posted From: 68.40.195.233 |
As far as schools go, I would suggest looking into the Detorit Waldorf School. I went there for preschool-2nd grade and it was a wonderful experience. Integrated, nurturing... Also, look into Homeschooling. I am NOT christian, and was homeschooled from 2nd grade through highschool, and managed to get into the University of Michigan (and regret free) i'd love to answer any questions you might have about these options. I was raised in a detroit (i'm white if that matters or not) and think it was the most important and best decision my parents ever made (i'm now 23) I have a greater appreciation for diversity, equality, and social issues than I would have otherwise. I HIGHLY suggest living in detroit with your children. If you feel Moving is essential (which it might or might not be) try other detroit neighborhoods... Indian Village (near the waldorf school), Rosedale park is splendid, Berry Subdivision (SE of Jefferson, Near Van Dyke) Cass Corridor, Cork Town! Good Luck With Your Decision! .andy. (Message edited by andylinn on April 18, 2006) | ||
Darwinism Member Username: Darwinism Post Number: 479 Registered: 06-2005 Posted From: 69.220.35.4 |
I second and third the helpful comments made by Eastsidedog and jfried. A few of us consider this forum to be an extended family/community, and therefore felt comfortable seeking some opinion. Why the fuck must some people here continue to deteriorate the integrity of this forum by being assholes ? Do you have any idea how lame this type of negative conduct appear to the casual browser or lurker ? If you can't share any advice or opinion, at least refrain yourself from attacking others. Just STFU and go to a different thread. Morena: I want to tell you that if your #1 concern is school, then by all means narrow down your options within Detroit to neighborhoods where the better schools are. Glazer is a good elementary school near Oakman Blvd. and 12th. Mann is also another good school with Pre-K, located near Plymouth and Evergreen. If you are on the east side along the river, Guyton Elementary would be a good choice. Another good and tight-knit neighborhood would be near the Hubbard area, where Webster Elementary can be found. I know kids there are given the opportunity to immerse in a multi-cultural setting. Multi-cultural education is very important and it is such an advantage if a child can have a fluent command of other languages besides English. Morena, your current neighborhood may not be a place you want to raise your young children, but Detroit is certainly big enough for you to find alternatives. Good luck. | ||
Bvos Member Username: Bvos Post Number: 1398 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 75.10.25.142 |
Morena, I'm a father of two. I live in Rosedale Park and I have to say that it's one of the most family friendly anywhere in metro Detroit. Our family needs a bigger house and we've begun looking around different Detroit neighborhoods. Despite all our looking, we keep coming back to Rosedale as the best option for us because of all the stuff that is available for our kids to do. There is a co-op preschool that my son will be attending this fall. It costs $45 per month and requires two half-days per month of volunteering (any family member or friend can do it, it's not restricted to just mom & dad). It's for 3 and 4 year olds. From this you get a great network of neighbors and playmates for your kids. You also get the inside scoop on where the good schools are and how to get your kids in them. Lots of them are near by or a short car ride away (lots of carpooling happens in the neighborhood if that driving thing concerns you). There are numerous sports leagues in the neighborhood from hockey to soccer to baseball to basketball to football. They all start at 5 years old and go up to the teen years. Rosedale Park and Grandmont residents get discounts on league fees which are only about $30-$50 per season anyways with a family cap of around $80. Hockey is obviously a bit more expensive. There are lots of family events through out the year: Easter Egg Hunt, June Day Parade & Picnic, Block Parties, Holiday Pancakes with Santa, etc. Among the best things about the neighborhood is that there are lots of kids and well maintained parks close by. You can walk to them as a family or feel safe having your kids go with friends as a group. Lots of pick-up baseball, football, basketball, etc. games go on during the summer with kids riding their bikes in from all over the neighborhood. I didn't think that happened anymore until I moved to Rosedale. Home prices are in the $130s to $180s depending on the size, # of bedrooms, quality of finishes, etc. for the house. Lafayette Park would also be a great option as well since Chrysler is an outstanding school and it is located within walking distance of an outstanding array of destinations. However they lack the neighborhood activities that Rosedale Park has. Don't give up on Detroit. I know it's hard to find the right location and you'll have to work at it a little harder than in the suburbs, but I really believe your kids will thank you for it later in life. Nothing is more boring than suburban living. | ||
The_aram Member Username: The_aram Post Number: 4800 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 141.213.175.233 |
Overgeneralization of the year right there. | ||
Northend Member Username: Northend Post Number: 900 Registered: 10-2005 Posted From: 69.220.232.15 |
it's not for everyone | ||
Bvos Member Username: Bvos Post Number: 1400 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 75.10.25.142 |
Overgeneralization of time there. I'm speaking to the vast majority of suburbia which consists of homogeneous neighborhoods where you have to drive everywhere. Northville, Royal Oak, Birmingham, etc. may offer a departure from that and a more urban experience, but the vast majority of suburban Detroit is just tract housing on steroids. | ||
Ltorivia485 Member Username: Ltorivia485 Post Number: 2546 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 199.74.87.98 |
<---- Chrysler Elementary alum. I second Chrysler! One of the best schools in the state! One reason why I am a former State Geography Bee participant (top 100) and am attending Northwestern University in Chicago.  | ||
Morena Member Username: Morena Post Number: 409 Registered: 08-2004 Posted From: 216.45.2.138 |
I want to again Thank Everyone for sharing your thoughts. You've really given me some things/areas to strongly consider and I will definitely check them out. Gianni: I can really appreciate your 6 y/o's comment. I take my kids to Comerica Park year-round just so they can see the tigers, bats, and ferris wheel. Man they get excited. | ||
Ilovedetroit Member Username: Ilovedetroit Post Number: 2261 Registered: 02-2005 Posted From: 63.149.5.130 |
Morena - Detroit is a really beautiful city with so much to offer. I have met so many cool kids who grew up in this city. Yes the public schools aren't the best but many are good and improving. Try moving to a neighborhood that is more diverse (sounds like where you live is more poor and under-employed) and well maintained. Try East English Village. There are great homes there or on Audobon in Morningside for sale. Solid wonderful neighborhoods w/ nice size homes. The private school in GP is excellent and just across Mack. The public school for 1-6 grades is very good in Detroit and I hear lots of good things about it. Investigate the schools. Even if you move to the burbs you are going to pay 250k PLUS for a house...you may be better off spending 175k in a good Detroit area and going to private schools OR looking for a good Detroit public school. | ||
Swingline Member Username: Swingline Post Number: 461 Registered: 11-2003 Posted From: 4.229.60.198 |
Morena provides a text book example of the dilemma facing thousands of middle class families in Detroit. I think that while his neighborhood problems sound significant, the education problem is paramount. What does a parent do? My answer: first, find a school. Other posters have identified most of the public and private elementary schools in the city that are unqualified successes. The private schools won't be cheap. Families with lots of kids have it even tougher. Gone are the days of cutting a check for $1500 to the local Catholic grade school and getting for your kid a solid foundation for a college-prep high school. If you don't want to try one of the select DPS elementary schools mentioned, and you can't afford at least $4500 per child for pre school/early grades, the choice is made for you. You have to relocate to the suburbs in order to get your kids into public schools you find acceptable. I hope you stay in the city. Detroit Waldorf School, Friends School and Chrysler Elementary are great options with stable and/or improving neighborhoods nearby that are reasonably priced . Good luck Morena. | ||
Track75 Member Username: Track75 Post Number: 2318 Registered: 10-2003 Posted From: 12.75.18.2 |
http://www.schoolmatters.com/ Lots of data on K-12 schools from the Standard & Poors School Evaluation Service. | ||
Jjw Member Username: Jjw Post Number: 75 Registered: 10-2005 Posted From: 68.33.56.156 |
think of your children and their future. You decided to have them and now it is your responsibility to give them the best education possible. find a neighborhood that your children can play in and feel safe. if you cannot find one in the city, hit the burbs----your children come first | ||
Eastsidedog Member Username: Eastsidedog Post Number: 256 Registered: 03-2006 Posted From: 12.47.224.8 |
Great posts Bvos, I agree suburbia in the classic sense is boring as hell. My wife grew up in cookie-cutter brand new subdivisions all over the US and Canada and she freakin' hated it, was exposed to very little diversity and has few roots, which she and I are intent on starting in Detroit now. I on the other hand grew up in Pleasant Ridge/Ferndale in a traditional 1920's neighborhood in the 80's/90's. It was still relatively suburban but I was exposed to tons of diversity at school, and have friends from my childhood whom I still see on a weekly basis. (It's important to note that when my parents bought the house in the late 70's it was formerly a rental with sheets on the windows and mattresses on the floors. It was in terrible shape. My folks moved in 1995 and now homes in the same neighborhood sell for boatloads. It's unbelievable how time changes places.) Wherever you move I think it's important to choose a real neighborhood with things for the kids to do in walking/biking distance and stay there for a long time, lets those roots sink in and enjoy the lifetime friendships and community that grows up around you. | ||
Gildas Member Username: Gildas Post Number: 562 Registered: 12-2004 Posted From: 69.216.100.1 |
Morena, East English Village, on the east side, off Cadieux is a clean area, great people and alot of families with children. Private schools are nearby and many kids go to public schools as well. Overall a great area. |
