 
Oleosis007
Member
Username: Oleosis007
Post Number: 2
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 1:16 am: |    |
Heres the skinny...
She was born and raised in Sterling Heights and has all the negative stereotypes of the D pushed on her from the parents. Dad is a big hater(for no reason of course). We spend a lot of time in the city for entertainment. She likes going for this but will not even consider moving there.
My dream has always been to buy a ex-manufacturing/school building and converting into a massive home. After we are settled I would then convert the leftover space into 2-3000 sq. ft. flats and rent or sell depending. Detroit is the only area where this is really an option due to the abundance of these types of buildings being available on the cheap. I have on mind in particular that would be perfect (46,000 sq. ft., 3 story for 150k!
We are ready to buy a home in the next 6 mo. If I want this dream to become a reality I must get her on board. I have tried to do this by showing her the good things and always promoting the positive side of living there. However I am not getting much of a budge on the topic.
Does anybody have any ideas on what to do to get her to realize that Detroit is not the scum pit that so many people want to believe it is? |
Homer
Member
Username: Homer
Post Number: 226
Registered: 08-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 1:40 am: | |
Well you could just find a Hot Downtown girl and keep the Sterling White on the side. |
Hpgrmln
Member
Username: Hpgrmln
Post Number: 122
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 1:53 am: | |
When I moved closer to Detroit from further north my car insurance automatically went up.Detroit taxes are high.Move where youre girlfriend wants to. It likely will save you some money.
From experience and stories I've heard, it takes forever for the police to respond to runs.That would make me afraid.
If youre going to buy a house, you have to weigh the good and the bad because thats a big investment.Balance her views with your positive ones. |
Quinn
Member
Username: Quinn
Post Number: 1455
Registered: 01-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 2:24 am: | |
Living here isn't for the faint of heart. I'm not saying it's a warzone, but it's far from the idealized American city, what I would say streeterville or magnificent mile is in Chicago.
This is probably a huge deciding factor in your relationship. I don't know too many people who moved down here from the immediate suburbs where they were raised. Most of our friends who are not native are from far away. The few that grew up in the burbs but got beyond being afraid are fairly adventurous.
The fact is we're a poor city with big money problems. Lack of funds means less services like police (or police response times), firefighters, snow removal, etc. This is a long-term gamble, and for most of us I'd say an emotional one too. There's some spark down deep that makes us happy to jump into the pool.
If you don't have that spark, or have been scared by misinformed parents (so sad) your WHOLE LIFE, you may not be able to take that gamble. Ever. |
Chub
Member
Username: Chub
Post Number: 482
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 4:08 am: | |
I grew up in Plymouth, moved to the Boston-Edison area of Detroit and bought a house there in 2002. After finally selling my house in Detroit a few months ago,I now live in Los Angeles which is something I always said I'd never do. But guess what, I'm soooo much happier and less stressed here. Maybe it's the fact that I now have a job now that actually pays me good money for work I love doing, maybe it's the fact that I don't have rocks and vodka bottles being thrown through my living room window anymore, maybe it's the fact that I don't have to worry about my car, lawnmower, gutters, landscaping, and plumbing getting stolen anymore.
What's my point? Know what you're getting yourself into by moving into the city. I'm not saying that every area of the city is as bad as what I had to deal with, but it's still pretty rough over all. Some day it may be much better, but right now anything outside of downtown is hurting pretty bad.
Just my 2cents.
-chub |
Pam
Member
Username: Pam
Post Number: 2439
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 7:11 am: | |
quote:My dream has always been to buy a ex-manufacturing/school building and converting into a massive home. After we are settled I would then convert the leftover space into 2-3000 sq. ft. flats and rent or sell depending
Maybe she just does not like this idea. Would she object to getting a house in one of the nice neighborhoods of the city? |
Gazhekwe
Member
Username: Gazhekwe
Post Number: 183
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 7:45 am: | |
Could you buy and work on your building, while living elsewhere? Perhaps stay in the "owner's suite" once in awhile, and maybe then work into longer stays.
Your project sounds costly, though, over and above the cost of building. Just think of thousands per HVAC system per unit, new windows overall, then we have all the interior insulation and building materials. You need to watch out for asbestos too, abatement is costly. Zoning could be a hassle, too. Like the others said. research carefully and know what you are getting into. The dream is wonderful, but could easily turn into a nightmare, without the resources to support it. |
Kenp
Member
Username: Kenp
Post Number: 752
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 7:50 am: | |
dump her |
Yvette248
Member
Username: Yvette248
Post Number: 888
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 8:03 am: | |
Buh bye |
56packman
Member
Username: 56packman
Post Number: 1693
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 8:49 am: | |
Like the man says-
Don't mess with the nest! |
Johnlodge
Member
Username: Johnlodge
Post Number: 2088
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 8:53 am: | |
Part of your plan hinges on someone wanting to live in your flats. Is the area you are looking to purchase viable for real estate? Right now, nothing is. Take your $150k, and get yourself a real nice house in Ferndale, and keep your eye on Detroit. Chances are your Ferndale property will increase in value before the price of that warehouse does. Take the girlfriend Downtown when you want to go out, see if she warms to the idea. Both the city and your girlfriend need more time. If a few years down the road, things seem more viable, sell the house and buy the warehouse. Or, keep the house and buy the warehouse, but at least you'll be only 20 minutes away while you're working on it. |
Ferntruth
Member
Username: Ferntruth
Post Number: 106
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 9:21 am: | |
quote:
"dump her"
Why? Because she doesn't want to live in Detroit?
Wow, that's harsh.
I was born and raised in the city, and lived there until I enlisted at 18 out of high school.
I live in Ferndale now, and wouldn't move at gunpoint. I absolutely love living in Ferndale.
However, even if I were to move,it would not be back to the city. Insurance costs, lack of city services, lack of decent retail (including grocery stores), etc. are enough to keep me away.
I say buy in Ferndale (or another inner ring suburb), live close enough to the city to enjoy it, but without the hassle that goes along with living there. |
Carolcb
Member
Username: Carolcb
Post Number: 1406
Registered: 11-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 9:22 am: | |
I have thought about why people are afraid and why some people are not afraid, and I just think it is not something you can change. Just like - don't take this wrong - just like a dog can tell you are afraid - people either have it or not.
I think what Quinn said was right on target. Good luck. |
Detroitbill
Member
Username: Detroitbill
Post Number: 308
Registered: 09-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 9:28 am: | |
Who knows if the warehouse idea will work, you have to be realistic about conditions in various areas in the city. Everytime I read this post from people who want to live in the city and the various responses from people who live/lived here, the increased costs etc, crime etc, bad areas they moved in and bad experiences I can't help but wonder what these people were thinking when the moved to Detroit. Do your homework folks .. To me it was a no brainer, you want to live in the city?? You want safety??You want affordability?? You want good neighbors?? You want convenience and social attractions nearby.?? Then find a place that gives you that. I did. Moved into 1300 Lafayette, security is never a problem,totally safe guarded and cammed car parking, affordable ( 65% of what a "loft" of similar size in Royal Oak was) great neighbors, unbelievable views from my place (24th floor) . I walk to everything,, (we walked over to the end of the Tigers game last night and stood on the cement and gates and watched the game for free the last two innings, then went out to Detroit Beer company and walked home). Also we got notices that our monthly fees are going DOWN 100.00 a month on average due to refinancing the co-op and its financial strength and stability. There is no "stress" to live here but lots of conveniences, great pools and excercise areas. Obviously many people want a "home", then look at the townhouses across the street. If you have kids of course this scenario would not work as easily but people really need to investigate where they live before they move. Concerns about Detroit living are very real but there are certainly viable alternatives within it. |
E_hemingway
Member
Username: E_hemingway
Post Number: 1309
Registered: 11-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 9:30 am: | |
My fiancee and I went through something similar a few years ago. We decided to rent an apartment downtown and see how we liked living in the city. Worse-case scenario, we would just move back to the suburb of our choice if it didn't work out. It has worked out quite well for us and we are now looking, although not very hard right now, to buy a place in the city.
Renting in a secure downtown-area building might be the best option for both of you right now. For her because she can see living in Detroit is actually worthwhile and for you so you get a first-hand view of just how this city works before becoming a developer in it. It will probably take a little of the rose color off our your glasses. And trust me, if you want to invest in Detroit you are wearing the rose-colored glasses whether you know it or not. Check out a few of the major downtown-area apartment complexes, such as Lafayette Towers, Millender Center or the Kales Building. Easing into the big city just might be best thing for both of you. |
Civilprotectionunit4346
Member
Username: Civilprotectionunit4346
Post Number: 375
Registered: 06-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 9:38 am: | |
I have a friend that wanted to move into Downtown Detroit, but changed his mind when he found out about the taxes & the city tax as well. He also found out about the insurance increase for his car because the auto theft rate is higher downtown then where he lives at the present time.
Some people do get mis-educated about the city & thing's turn for the worse when that happens as most of the folk's who posted here have stated. But it's not just the mis-education, people do see the reports of crime, poverty, homelessness & high taxes, & that's another group of thing's to add to their list of reasons people aren't willing to move to Detroit.
I admit I have seen some nice neighborhood's, but these are few & far between most of the other neighborhood's that are not so plesant to most folks because of the current state of the area(aka burnt out homes, abandonded homes, squatters living in the abandonded homes, drug dealing & etc).
I think some of the people here offered some good advice, talk it over more with your girlfriend. It's her decision as well. If she's not willing to move, do you fear that you will break up with her, or she will break up with you fearing that you might have your heart set on it to move there & she doesn't want to move. |
Paulmcall
Member
Username: Paulmcall
Post Number: 343
Registered: 05-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 9:44 am: | |
If you want to be happy, do what she wants or get someone else who likes Detroit.
Sounds like the possible in-laws would not be much support for a move to Detroit.
Did you think you might want to have a family?
I wouldn't suggest Detroit in that case. |
Gnome
Member
Username: Gnome
Post Number: 18
Registered: 08-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:01 am: | |
Unless you have really deeeeep pockets - like a 1.5 mil for renovations - or years and years of experience in rehabing industrial spaces, you might not want to take on this dream.
However, if you decide to do this, do it before you get married, because she is going to divorce you sometime around year 3 of this project.
3 years of asking her to live in drafty empty warehouse filled with rats and rascals is about the limit that love can stand.
This project is not just a full-time job. It is calling, a crusade, a quest.
She doesn't believe in your dream, her parents don't believe in your dream, and after three years she'll dump you and take everything you own.
I don't blame her. |
Detroitbill
Member
Username: Detroitbill
Post Number: 309
Registered: 09-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:04 am: | |
Lots of good recommendations here,, some definite truth being spoken, I also think the renting idea is a very good scenario to see if you like it, but again, watch where you rent, Stay to the more credible places downtown. As for some of the comments about rose colored glasses, homelessness, drugs etc,, what do you expect in a large mid western industrial city ??? You will most certainly see that in Detroit , Detroit is gritty for sure but also Downtown is a great place to live if you put yourself in the right environment, There are so many different things to do that the burbs just don't offer.. Yesterday morning I went for my morning walk with some neighbors. as we walked along the river in front of GM and eastwards and looked at the river and back at the skyline, one neighbor of mine who moved from a east suburb said that she could never imagine wanting to move back and sit in a boring subdivision, it is just so "dull" out there she said, the people are all the same and they think the same way ".. It made me think, that these are the reasons we do live Downtown, again its not for everybody. as for cost, my overall cost is less that where I lived before in the burbs, When I tell friends in Chicago about safety concerns here, even they said, Why do you think everyone lives in highrises in large cities?? Its cost prohibitive there and they want safety from the crime and masses. It is a fact of life in a urban enviroment. People in Detroit are very ground level home trained and seek those environments, maybe one should consider alternatives. If you ask those of us who have lived here for 15 years I think you will get a better analysis than those who are on the outside looking in, We are more than happy to give you the good and the bads..and there is plenty of both. For us, we are very happy where we are at. |
Vas
Member
Username: Vas
Post Number: 781
Registered: 01-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:09 am: | |
Detroit is a city struggling to its feet. All of us living down here are part of its rebirth. We are the solders on the front lines though there have been many before us. If she isn't a happy go lucky, non-freak out, usually positive girl then it will work out. If the little things get to her then she's prone to being fearful in situations then it may not be a good idea. |
Janesback
Member
Username: Janesback
Post Number: 391
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:24 am: | |
Chub, you state"Maybe it's the fact that I now have a job now that actually pays me good money for work I love doing, maybe it's the fact that I don't have rocks and vodka bottles being thrown through my living room window "
----------------------
Chub, where did you live and why on earth would anyone just walk up to your house and throw rocks and bottles at it? Did you have bad neighbors, did you provoke some one in the area ? Thanks, Jane
W |
Sstashmoo
Member
Username: Sstashmoo
Post Number: 324
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:27 am: | |
"dump her"
Quite the contrary. I think this poster should marry her and take her advice now and always.
Your plan of rehabbing an old manufacturing facility on 150k is outlandish, ill-conceived and down right dangerous. And expecting her to undergo the hardships while you enjoy your inner city experience is selfish and shows little regard for her, her safety or the wishes of her parents.
To be quite frank, I'm surprised she didnt dump you as soon as she figured out you were serious.
I know at your age, the plan sounds "can't miss" Get about a ten years on you, look back and enjoy the laugh. Have a classic "What the f was I thinking?" moment. |
Cinderpath
Member
Username: Cinderpath
Post Number: 156
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:36 am: | |
I would love to move to Detroit, but the harsh reality is that it is a place far different from other great American cities: Portland, Chicago, Seattle, Boston, etc.
The reality is that the city government is corrupt, the cops are crooked, and the services are deplorable, the taxes are outrageous, and there are little big city amenities like good shopping, although there are some decent restaurants, but not anywhere like the above mentioned cities. I now have kids, and I won't send them the DPS, so I would have to factor in private schools. Until this gets fixed, there is no chance I would consider moving there. I suspect I am not alone in this either. We moved to Ferndale, and like it, it is close to the city, but has little of Detroit's problems, although, its mere proximity to Detroit means higher car insurance.
It really is a shame, Detroit has the potential to be one of the best cities in the midwest, its location on the river is great, it has interesting architecture and history. Its political leaders over the past 40 years have done a great disservice to its citizens and the state by letting it go to hell. This is largely a result of corruption and greed by its political leaders that has trickled down to virtually every level, from laziness of city workers, to greasing contracts, to city council members buying property on development speculation.
I traveled through Bosnia last summer, where it truly was a war-zone, and could not believe how well the rebuilding looked. The first thing my wife commented on was how the non-rebuilt portions looked like Detroit, but were we amazed at how nice it was being fixed up. She then asked me how long Detroit has "Looked that way"? I answered: Decades. There is simply no excuse for this, on every level.
Detroit- Potential: Vast Likelihood:Dim |
Eric_w
Member
Username: Eric_w
Post Number: 305
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:36 am: | |
Maybe an alternative would be to move into someplace like Indian Village,Rosdale Park or Palmer Woods where there are nice homes or in a downtown area apartment or condo. Then keep an eye out for something to convert into lofts or studio apartments or condos.
On her family issue and being negative on Detroit: first Detroit residents have done more than their fair share of bashing suburbs for perceived racist feelings. I know I've grown weary of it for the last 30 odd years. Coleman Young and others like him made careers of doing exactly that. Detroit's negative image is a product of REAL issues: crime,drugs, bad government and terrible schools-so get real, the perception is accurate it's not some dream conjured up someone with nothing else to do. I live in Lincoln Park not an upscale area after spending most of my life in Detroit-I would never move back there ever. |
Miketoronto
Member
Username: Miketoronto
Post Number: 649
Registered: 07-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:40 am: | |
That is tricky. If she does not share the same passion, it can cause problems in the future.
Stay for love. But then someone has to give.
It is funny how what area of a city to live in, can cause problems 
I remember I went out on one date with a person. Found out they loved living two hours out of the city in some sprawl burb, and I love the city. We knew right there it was just not going to work
Sometimes location is a deciding factor.
If the love is there, then just make a compromise. Live in a city house or something.
Both sides will have to give for now. |
Cambrian
Member
Username: Cambrian
Post Number: 1536
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 10:43 am: | |
You have to accept the fact she may never come around and ask yourself if you could cope with that possibility. It could make for resentment on your part for time missed in your city while hanging with her in Sterling Whites, or resentment on her part for spending time down there with you where she does not want to be. It would be pretty tough to overcome the stereotypes and fears her folks instilled in her. |
Swingline
Member
Username: Swingline
Post Number: 885
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 11:00 am: | |
Whew, lots of venting on this thread. Why hasn't every sensible person living in Detroit decamped for a better place to live? Well, who is to say what the reason is, but thousands and thousands of us stay and enjoy a fulfilling and exciting life in Detroit.
Oleosis, yes you would be foolish to jump right into the urban pioneer thing in a sketchy neighborhood with a spouse who was not completely committed to the effort. Do the apartment thing like others have suggested. Find a community group or church to get involved with. Maybe even try to find employment downtown. Do that and explore as much as possible for a couple of years. Maybe your girl's outlook will soften after that. Good luck |
Vas
Member
Username: Vas
Post Number: 783
Registered: 01-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 11:02 am: | |
Cinderpath,
Either help this city or get out of the way. Right now you are part of the tide making its future harder.
If you've noticed, most posters here are part of the rebuilding effort. You are not. With your naysaying, you are now part of its troubles. |
Sstashmoo
Member
Username: Sstashmoo
Post Number: 325
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 11:03 am: | |
Quote: "It would be pretty tough to overcome the stereotypes and fears her folks instilled in her."
Or possibly the reasons she is against this is grounded in common sense and based on real numbers. |
Miss_cleo
Member
Username: Miss_cleo
Post Number: 830
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, August 28, 2007 - 11:04 am: | |
Do you think calling Sterling Heights, Sterling *Whites* helps with the problem between the city and the burbs? Is this where I get to call Detroit an equally stupid insulting name because you are doing it to the burbs?
(Message edited by miss cleo on August 28, 2007) |
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