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Detroitplanner
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Username: Detroitplanner

Post Number: 441
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 9:27 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

DETROIT: November 30, 2006. Kwame Kilpatrick, Michael Ilitch, and Al Taubman proudly announce the Detroit Mall. "I wanted to build something everyone in Detroit could afford to shop in" said Mr Taubman. Mayor Kilpartick praised Taubman as a true visionary. The Mayor also said that Ilitch was "building upon the success of the Red Wings, the Tigers, the Motor City Casino, the Fox Theatre" and also praised him for tearing down that eyesore of a hotel next to the DAC. The mall will begin construction next month at the Northwest corner Woodward and Fisher Freeway service drive. a 5,000 space parking structure will be built and parking will be validated with purchases of $10 or more at participating stores. "Shoppers will be able to utilize the Woodward Bus to shop here, I can see the need to put several bus shelters up infront of the Woodward Place condos" declared the Mayor.

Confirmed store to include:

Big Kmart (3 stories)
Target (3 stories)
Marshall's
Anna's Linens
Old Navy
Steve and Barry's
Burlington Coat Factory
Foreman Mills
Fantastic Sam's
Family Dollar
Nailz and Thangz
Two Dollar Cinema (6 Screens)
Norman's
Mezzanine
Tractor Supply Center
Sav A Lot Foods
Dollar Tree
Big Al's Jailhouse Threadz
General Dollar
Bulk Food Warehouse
Cheque Cachers
Da Arcade
Everything Yooper

Food Court:
Little Caesar's $5 Pizza
Dolla Dawgz
Kola's Muskrat Meals
Sander's Ice Cream
The CheezeKake Factory
BarStucks Coffees
Chicken Shack
So far the news has been received well by neighbors. The normally pale faces many of those living in the condos across Woodward became even paler as they contemplated the new Detroit Mall. One man obviously thought he had hit paydirt, and was seen on his Razor calling his realtor to put his house up for sale and figured he had mad a lot of money saying he "would move back to Rochester Hills."

(Message edited by Detroitplanner on November 30, 2006)

(Message edited by Detroitplanner on December 01, 2006)
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Detroit_stylin
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Username: Detroit_stylin

Post Number: 3338
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 9:29 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

UMMMM....

April Fool's is a few months away big man...
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Buddyinrichmond
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Username: Buddyinrichmond

Post Number: 82
Registered: 02-2004
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 9:55 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Superslur is that you?
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Detroitej72
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Username: Detroitej72

Post Number: 415
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 10:15 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ha ha ha...
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Dialh4hipster
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Username: Dialh4hipster

Post Number: 1851
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 11:10 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

That was actually really funny.

"Nailz and Thangz"
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56packman
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Username: 56packman

Post Number: 761
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 11:32 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

what about a "we be cuttin' hair and stuff" super center?
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Detroitplanner
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Username: Detroitplanner

Post Number: 442
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 11:37 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

56 sorry they went corporate you're going to have to go to Fantastic Sams to get your doo coiffed.
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Lmichigan
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Username: Lmichigan

Post Number: 4783
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Thursday, November 30, 2006 - 11:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

How could they miss "Wigs n' Sh#t"? lol

(Message edited by lmichigan on December 01, 2006)
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Warriorfan
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Username: Warriorfan

Post Number: 590
Registered: 08-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:49 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I see the new mall has a check cashing place, but what about cash advances? I got shit I want to buy now, but I don't have the money. Also, there better be at least four or five cell phone stores.
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Stryker81
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Username: Stryker81

Post Number: 10
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:55 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Where's the Mr. Alans? 29 or two for 50!!!
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Eric
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Username: Eric

Post Number: 615
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 1:02 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

That food court is lame. We get muskrat, but no BBQ joint? They at least have put in a Dot and Etta's
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Nellonfury
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Username: Nellonfury

Post Number: 200
Registered: 03-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 1:31 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The students at Cass Tech. High are very lucky.
The new mall and MGM Grand are just a walking distance away. They got a new hang out spot when the students are planning to skip school.
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Lmichigan
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Username: Lmichigan

Post Number: 4785
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 2:12 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Nellon, you do know this is a joke, right?
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Nellonfury
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Username: Nellonfury

Post Number: 201
Registered: 03-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 3:53 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I know.
BTW,I found some images of the stores that gonna be in the new mall.....

Big Al's Jailhouse Threadz

Da Arcade

Burlington Coat Factory

Norman's

Two Dollar Cinema (6 Screens)
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Carolcb
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Username: Carolcb

Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 8:34 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hey at least on such an ugly Friday we have something to laugh about.
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Ramcharger
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Username: Ramcharger

Post Number: 145
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 9:19 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Not funny!
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Pam
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Username: Pam

Post Number: 712
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 9:53 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)


quote:

Not funny!




I agree. It has a "let's laugh at those funny urban po' folks" feel. Not funny.
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Shave
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Username: Shave

Post Number: 1243
Registered: 06-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:03 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Ramcharger and Pam I would like to join the "Not funny" club. Very tacky and in poor taste. If this is a site "dedicated to" and "devoted to" building up the image of Detroit, then why is a thread such as this allowed?
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Miss_cleo
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Username: Miss_cleo

Post Number: 366
Registered: 05-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:05 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I am still wondering what anyone in the city would need a tractor supply store for?!?! LOL!
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Jtw
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Username: Jtw

Post Number: 103
Registered: 06-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:08 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

hehe definitely liked "Nailz and Thangz" best.

lighten up people!
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Milwaukee
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Username: Milwaukee

Post Number: 342
Registered: 08-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:10 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

So is the article a joke or is the whole mall plan a joke? Or are people mad about others making fun of poor black people?

Is the mall a serious proposal?
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Dialh4hipster
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Username: Dialh4hipster

Post Number: 1852
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:19 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I disagree. Mezzanine is in there and there is nothing po' about that!

Although I think that using "po'" has a "let's laugh at the urban vernacular" feel. Not funny.
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Thejesus
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Username: Thejesus

Post Number: 368
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:23 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

pshhh

(Message edited by thejesus on December 01, 2006)
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Mw2gs
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Username: Mw2gs

Post Number: 244
Registered: 03-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 11:17 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Again....it comes out in the wash
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Bussey
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Username: Bussey

Post Number: 393
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 11:24 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

None of Ya Buziness.....


This thread could be spun in a number of ways.


For one, defining black culture as "urban" implies that a segregated boundary is established and when used can be offensive for this reason.

I understand how this can be taken as offensive, yet when the stereotype is perpetuated one cannot help but continue to use the term. Simply stating facts should not be considered abusive or mean if the facts spring humor based on what they are at face value.

The abundance of Liquor stores, churches, beauty supply stores - establishments that are found in suburban and rural areas as well - is hampered by the use of slang within the names of the businesses, and this is what creates the humor that would otherwise not exist.


None of Ya Buziness

Nails and Thangz

These are just two examples, found here in Detroit, that come to mind but many more have been discussed on here before.

This thread, be it a parody or not, should not be seen as distasteful or offending since it speaks truthfully to what the word urban has come to symboliZe in our culture today.

Looked at along a timeline, you can see where this trend began when examining one of the greatest influences upon black/urban culture, music.

During the early 90's black/urban music had a more uplifting and positive message. Groups like Arrested Development, Tribe Called Quest, KRS-One, and many others are great examples of this. Of course you had your goofballs like Tone Loc singing about "Funky Cold Medina" but it was not such a part of the Main Stream and focally important.

Now it seems like ever since "rumpShaker" was released you have everyone singing about asses, drinking, and living life in a careless, lackadasical, and childish manner. Im sure that there are still black/urban groups who have behind them positive and socially responsible messages - the group Hyrogliphics comes to mind - but they are no where near as popular or predominate as in the past.

I am very curious to listen to what will be said regarding this opinion of mine since I am getting older and may just be "out of the Loop"
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Detroitplanner
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Username: Detroitplanner

Post Number: 444
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 11:37 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Here we go, thank you for displaying your own hypocrisy. I have always been a proponent of stores for the poor, that should not be shocking in the least.

However, before I was being labeled as a stupid liberal, now I am a racist. There is nothing racist about any of the offerings I included in the store category only in your assumptions(well the downriver french and poles, as well as the yoopers might disagree).

I did love the photos, that was pure genuis.

Miss Cleo the TSC has a very affordable base, that is the only reason why it was included. TSC and Normans are found all over NE Michigan.

Thank you everyone for proving my point about how most here act as a swarm often quelching others ideas.

From the Flame Warriors site:

"A Swarm hive is almost impossible to detect. When a hapless victim stumbles on a forum that houses a Swarm and disturbs it with an offending message, the Swarm will erupt and fly at their victim from all directions. Taken one at a time the irrelevant, often mindless individual attacks can be easily brushed aside, but because of the sheer volume of the assault even the strongest Warriors must eventually yield. WARNING: Only those who are highly skilled in Swarm management techniques should attempt to wade into a Swarm hive. but even with protective clothing opposing Warriors should expect to suffer a few stings."
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Dialh4hipster
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Username: Dialh4hipster

Post Number: 1854
Registered: 11-2004
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 11:47 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Well it is just so interesting to me that so few people who are renting or buying in the CBD would shop at most of these stores. Hypothetically. But whatever.

You seem to have a persecution complex. Could it be your ideas are just bad?
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Dds
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Username: Dds

Post Number: 45
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:07 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

The only thing i'm confused about is this:


quote:

During the early 90's black/urban music had a more uplifting and positive message.




KRS-One? Listen to "9mm" or any number of BDP's songs. Hardly an uplifting or positive message


quote:

Well it is just so interesting to me that so few people who are renting or buying in the CBD would shop at most of these stores. Hypothetically. But whatever.




I'm assuming this phenomena is the same as how folks in Harper Woods, St. Clair Shores, the Pointes, etc. will no longer go to Eastland or Macomb Malls, but instead travel way the hell out to Hall Rd.
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Quinn
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Username: Quinn

Post Number: 1052
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

put a target there and I'm there.
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Scottr
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Username: Scottr

Post Number: 92
Registered: 07-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:11 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

this was little more than a collection of everything that's been said on this board about detroit retail, thrown into one post, with a little added for fun. personally, i thought it was funny.

i think some are being a too harsh on detroitplanner - very little that he posted was original, it's all been said before by others here, whether seriously or in jest. he just put it together in an new way.

For those who claim it's racist or "laughing at those funny urban po' folks", comeon, get over YOUR persecution complex. there was enough for everyone to get offended if they wanted to, lighten up a little. this oversensitivity goes way too far sometimes.

to add on to the food court, you need chicken shack and a coffee shop, which will be bought out by starbucks in 6 months.
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Thnk2mch
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Username: Thnk2mch

Post Number: 526
Registered: 02-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:16 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

At least he didn't say anything about left handed people.:-)

It's not any different than the war with Livonia thread, and everyone thought that was funny.
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Focusonthed
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Username: Focusonthed

Post Number: 669
Registered: 02-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 12:50 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

FOOOOOOOOOORMAANNNNN MIIIIIIIIIIIILLS
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Lmichigan
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Username: Lmichigan

Post Number: 4786
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 4:29 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hey, I'm almost always on the other side of these things, but this is a thorough parody on urban retail no different than we make light of trailer park and/or rural culture. I found this funny, and this is coming from someone that frequents dollar stores, Burlington Coat Factories, among other discount stores. For every racist/xenophobe/elitist this pulls out the woodwork it pulls out 10 more people looking to have a little fun, and another 2 people looking to have a good laugh at themselves.
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Dede313
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Username: Dede313

Post Number: 4
Registered: 11-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 4:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

this made me laugh so hard!!! thankyou
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Detroitplanner
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Username: Detroitplanner

Post Number: 447
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 4:44 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I was just trying to shake up the elitists.

I'm like you L, I'll shop just about everywhere I can get a good deal and is close. Several threads back I was chastised for suggesting Old Navy because someone thought it was not a good store for black people. I dunno about you, but whenever I walk into Old Navy I don't get the feeling like I've been instantly transported to Traverse City or Charlevoix.

People have really odd ideas about what stores they patronize or where those stores are located. How general merchandise stores get associated with race, or ethnic characteristics puzzles me.
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Fortress_warren
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Username: Fortress_warren

Post Number: 244
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 5:00 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Detroitplanner, let me do the honor, "you're a stupid liberal" feel good? I hope so. I want a TCS store, I need 10 gallons of hydraulic fluid, for the 5550 backhoe.
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Lmichigan
Member
Username: Lmichigan

Post Number: 4787
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 6:47 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Detroitplanner, I agree with most of that, but I do make a concerted effort to patronize stores in my own city, meaning that I do take into consideration where a store is. I rarely ever make it out to the suburban malls where I live for a number of reasons, but one of the main ones being that they have more than enough visitors to pump money into that townships economy.
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The_nerd
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Username: The_nerd

Post Number: 337
Registered: 12-2003
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 6:59 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Dooh, fooled again on DYes!

I knew it was fake when I saw a parking garage for Detroit retail. You know we still love our surface lots.

TEAR THAT SCHITT DOWN!
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Rhymeswithrawk
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Username: Rhymeswithrawk

Post Number: 141
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Friday, December 01, 2006 - 10:24 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I don't find this funny at all.

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