  Frankg Member Username: Frankg Post Number: 726 Registered: 08-2007 |
Hey everyone, don't forget to congratulate Raptor56 on his recent engagement! Congratulations! Good luck! | ||
Eriedearie Member Username: Eriedearie Post Number: 3340 Registered: 08-2007 |
Congratulations! Best wishes and happy wedding planning. | ||
Blueidone Member Username: Blueidone Post Number: 443 Registered: 03-2007 |
Congratulations, Raptor. May your marriage be blessed with love forever. | ||
Lodgedodger Member Username: Lodgedodger Post Number: 1181 Registered: 05-2008 |
Congratulations, Raptor! May you have a long and happy marriage! Wishing you as much happiness as Lodgedodger and betterhalf! *hug* | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1779 Registered: 11-2006 |
Raptor56, congratulations and best wishes for a laughter filled marriage! Keep it light! | ||
Sean_of_detroit Member Username: Sean_of_detroit Post Number: 2186 Registered: 03-2008 |
Congratulations! | ||
Raptor56 Member Username: Raptor56 Post Number: 689 Registered: 05-2007 |
Glad I signed on today. Thank you!! After three years of dating, I finally decided to make the soon to be better half an honest woman  Any advice on wedding planning over the next year and a half will be much appreciated! And no, we are not eloping to Vegas, despite the advice of 5 people so far :-p | ||
Ray1936 Member Username: Ray1936 Post Number: 3758 Registered: 01-2005 |
Good move. Getting married in Vegas is one of the most overrated things in the world, just under the FBI and CIA. My wife worked in a Vegas wedding chapel for a year, and believe me, all they want is every penny you have. The waiting line at City Hall for marriage licenses on Valentine's day runs about four hours...and it ain't all that warm here in February; you're out in the cold for most of it. Hey, I live here, and I'm a booster for our local economy. But the wedding business out here is for suckers. There are more honest people in the bail bonds business. | ||
Kathleen Member Username: Kathleen Post Number: 2121 Registered: 10-2003 |
Congrats, Raptor56!! Wish you and the soon-to-be Mrs. Raptor56 all the best!! Detroit has a lot to offer in terms of wedding and reception sites and wedding photo opportunities. And so a number of past threads have been devoted to these topics. Are you planning to have any of the wedding celebration in the city? | ||
Raptor56 Member Username: Raptor56 Post Number: 691 Registered: 05-2007 |
We'd like to, and will be looking at downtown sites, however we both like the idea of having the reception at a hotel hall so guests can stumble up to their rooms afterwards. From stories I've heard, it sounds like the hotels downtown may be a little too cost prohibitive. We aren't looking at doing a $35,000 wedding. | ||
56packman Member Username: 56packman Post Number: 2418 Registered: 12-2005 |
Advice: Pretend to be interested in wedding plans. Your input will be solicited, but not listened to, but nevertheless don't answer any question like "should we have purple chair covers or black chair covers" with "I don't care, whatever" -- the ladies don't go for that answer. If you are given a job, like lining up the DJ do it right away, and do a good job of it--it may be the only thing you will be in control of. Tell your best man to start thinking of a good toast, or at least cheat and go on line and steal someone elses and not boof that, so you don't end up with something like this. | ||
Sumas Member Username: Sumas Post Number: 512 Registered: 01-2008 |
Best wishes. Some sound good advice. Don't go crazy on wedding plans. A wedding is a one night party, a good marriage is a lifetime. | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1802 Registered: 11-2006 |
packman, that's funny! I still don't know why I ask my husband his opinion on things like what colors, etc. (women, we should know better, right?) and we've been together 11 years! Here's my only opinion on a wedding reception: spend most money on food/drink/entertainment and least on flowers and cake. Oops, one more thing. Try to keep the cost really low on the invites. Go for simple. They just go in the garbage. Just my opinion. | ||
Eriedearie Member Username: Eriedearie Post Number: 3380 Registered: 08-2007 |
Zarks is right - go big on the food/drink/entertainment portion. Your guests will remember for years what was served at the reception as well as the taste and quality of the food. Me and Mr. Erie have been married 36 years and we still hear about what great food was served at our wedding. On the other hand, our whole family attended this one wedding about 20 years ago and the food was terrible. The roast beef could have been used to resole your shoes, the chicken wasn't thoroughly cooked, green beans were over cooked, and the salad lettuce was limp. And that couple's wedding reception dinner is still talked about negatively. You're paying for the food, you want it to be consumed, and not thrown in the garbage (which is what happened in that case). Wedding meals are very memorable occasions. You'll want yours to be outstanding. Your guests won't remember the flowers on the table or what flowers were displayed during the ceremony. So keep that low key as Zarks suggests. As for invites - if you're good with a computer or know someone who is - you can do up really nice invites yourselves; some beautiful papers can be purchased and you can save lots of money there. Now the cake - you want that to taste really good and be presentable. There was a thread on here not too long ago about that and the suggestions of bakeries and bakers around town were very good. If you do a search on it you'll see what I mean. We recently attended a wedding where they spent $500.00 on the cake. It looked like it would be good - but was dry and as hard as cardboard and tasted like it. You'll want to interview your cake person and taste test what they have to offer. And that's just my 2 cents worth. Good luck buddy! | ||
Sumas Member Username: Sumas Post Number: 516 Registered: 01-2008 |
Sounds like I've been over ruled. Planning a party is great fun. But,I'll stick to my advice however. It is one night out of a lifetime. My husband is Polish Catholic. Our wedding was definitely not what was expected. It was fun, memorable and very cheap. For example, we bought our wedding bands at the Metropolitan building. Total cost for both $100. Still wearing them. His sister's did things up right, cost a fortune and very traditional. Funny thing, they are now divorced and we are going strong after 33 years. Regardless of what you choose to do, we wish you a happy healthy joyous lifetime together. | ||
Eriedearie Member Username: Eriedearie Post Number: 3381 Registered: 08-2007 |
Raptor56 is going to get advice from all over the board. He and the future Mrs. Raptor56 will have a smorgasbord of input from our posts to choose from! And of course they will have all sorts of advice from their family and friends. Just remembered about one couple I know that spent $45,000.00 on their wedding. They were divorced before the year was over. The main thing is to make sure you're in it for the long haul and you only have eyes for one another. Be sure you both know what you want from your future life together. Communication is the key. | ||
Kathleen Member Username: Kathleen Post Number: 2125 Registered: 10-2003 |
Past DYes advice and thoughts on wedding and reception sites: Detroit wedding locations https://www.atdetroit.net/forum/mes sages/107211/111112.html Getting Married in the D contains several more links to past threads https://www.atdetroit.net/forum/mes sages/6790/115606.html?1192386 197 Belle Isle Wedding Questions https://www.atdetroit.net/forum/mes sages/6790/144792.html?1216188 525 Bakery for wedding cakes https://www.atdetroit.net/forum/mes sages/148145/161953.html Best wishes, Raptor56, on making your plans!! | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1804 Registered: 11-2006 |
I'm hearing that $75 is not considered a large amount for a wedding gift. It's almost expected. Would a young couple be insulted with a gift of $40? It's been a long time since I've been to a wedding, so I'm out of the loop. | ||
Sumas Member Username: Sumas Post Number: 519 Registered: 01-2008 |
Golly, I don't know. We've given $100 dollars for years, whether we attend or not. I expect $150 to $200 is more the going rate. | ||
Thames Member Username: Thames Post Number: 345 Registered: 02-2007 |
Anyone insulted by a gift, doesn't deserve one. Give what you can afford. | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1810 Registered: 11-2006 |
OMG Sumas you must have a bigger bank account than me. You are fortunate. I guess it really does depend on how much money you actually have to give from. Thanks Thames, that is well put as far as I'm concerned. | ||
56packman Member Username: 56packman Post Number: 2420 Registered: 12-2005 |
My biggest piece of advice is--worry about the marriage relationship itself and the business of getting along once the heat dies down some (cough* kids*mortgage*jobs*time*cough) and less about the ceremony and reception. that's 4-5 hours of your life, then you have to do the rest yourselves! as far as gifts, I like to at least cover the costs to the bride and groom by our presence and a little left over, if they are shooting for the moon, we're going to give what we can, because they are (usually) coming from more $$$$ than us anyway. | ||
Johnlodge Member Username: Johnlodge Post Number: 9090 Registered: 10-2003 |
If you are driving off to your honeymoon early the next morning, keep a paper bag in the car or be prepared to pull over real fast. | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1815 Registered: 11-2006 |
When we got married we paid for a wedding and reception and asked for no gifts. We were older (30's) and really just wanted our family and close friends to celebrate along with us. To think that they would feel like they had to 'cover' the cost of our celebration is beyond our realm of thinking. Know what I mean? | ||
Sumas Member Username: Sumas Post Number: 544 Registered: 01-2008 |
We have no money to speak of but obligations exist. I was stunned when several of my husbands relatives gave us $500 to $1000 dollars when we married. I think it is a Polish thing. We have been doing pay back ever since, however. Large family, weddings, babys, funerals etc. My husband's folks are wonderful people, perhaps I should say his extended family. My boys adore my husbands relatives and dislike mine. Can't say I blame them. Mine are cold and selfish, his are warm and sharing. An Aunt (husbands side) heard our car needs repairs and sent a check to help. Gotta love family! | ||
Detroitbred Member Username: Detroitbred Post Number: 210 Registered: 06-2008 |
Everyone here has great advice...here is mine. I tell people who are comtemplating marriage that they should hang wallpaper together. If you can do that without killing each other, you should get married. I f the wall paper hanging doesn't go well, reconsider. | ||
Eriedearie Member Username: Eriedearie Post Number: 4355 Registered: 08-2007 |
Detroitbred - Now THAT is excellent advice! So true - been there done that. | ||
Kathinozarks Member Username: Kathinozarks Post Number: 1820 Registered: 11-2006 |
Ha ha ha Detroitbred! My hub and I almost killed eachother when we tried making the beds together at our rental cabin. Oh man, he just DID NOT do it right! And boy howdy, was I ever picky! "No, your corners aren't tucked right, let me show you". "It's fine, they don't care", "Oh yes they do", "you are absolutely crazy", "And what about that time six years ago that you....." "How can you remember things from six years ago?!" "You ALWAYS"..."YOU NEVER"...."What is wrong with you?" "If I only had a tape recorder to let you hear how you sound!" "So now you think you should tape record me?" "You are insane","I am not". "You are so mean to me!" "I'm leaving". "Good, go!". "I'm not leaving, but you are still crazy!" All of this because I wanted perfectly made beds (perfect by MY standards, which are not everyone else's) which include military/hospital corners. Oh, and the fact that my man does not do well with criticism from me, whether constructive or not. This I know about him and still fumble around sometimes. Now, either he does it alone or I do it alone. Ahhhh, much better. | ||
Raptor56 Member Username: Raptor56 Post Number: 698 Registered: 05-2007 |
WOW! I'm enjoying catching up on all the responses. Kathleen-> thank you for the links. We have never hung wallpaper together, but she did move into my condo in July. I figure if we can overcome the invasion of space, need for storage, redecorating squabbles, the slow pace of organizing everything, and ensuing arguments without killing each other, we can make it through anything. That was a real good test of our compatibility and dedication. As to the mention of wedding gifts, the current rule of thumb (at least from what I've seen), is $50 per adult when giving cash. Generally people would like you to at least give enough to cover the cost of your plate. If you're lucky, you have a bunch of Italians who like to give you $500 to $1000 for a gift (sister's friend's wedding). | ||
Sumas Member Username: Sumas Post Number: 561 Registered: 01-2008 |
Doing wallpaper is a great and hilarious suggestion. I was glad to hear I don't look cheap at the $100 we give. I thought maybe we were out of touch with current realities. It is true though, give what you can. | ||
Lowell Moderator Username: Lowell Post Number: 2147 Registered: 09-2003 |
If your wedding day is a day like today, I owe it to one of my customers, Couples Resorts in Jamaica, to tout their destination wedding packages. http://couples.com/weddings/we ddinglanding.htm and it is their paying business which helps me with the resources to run this meagerly paying enterprise. I'm not trying to discourage a Detroit wedding because lord knows we need the business here... but if you need to escape the maddening crowd and associate expenses... Essentially you get a free wedding by buying your honeymoon which you can get at a good discount as well. One price and everything is included. I have witnessed a few of those on my trips down there and they are beautiful. Thanks Kathleen for research on weddings in Detroit. I am going to create a Hall of Fame megathread and move those threads into it. | ||
Lowell Moderator Username: Lowell Post Number: 2148 Registered: 09-2003 |
Followup... I have combined all threads Kathleen listed in the Hall of Fame under the [renamed] megathread of "Getting Married in Detroit" If anyone spots any others that belong there [or any threads of HOF quality that are not in the HOF] please inform me. Thanks. | ||
Kathleen Member Username: Kathleen Post Number: 3219 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thanks, Lowell. The Detroit wedding topic is a popular one, so having all the discussions in one thread will really be helpful. Wish Dave and I could have done a Detroit wedding when we were married nearly 28 years ago, but we were young and naive!! Maybe we'll do a 30th anniversary photo shoot around town in 2011!! | ||
Lowell Moderator Username: Lowell Post Number: 2149 Registered: 09-2003 |
I hear you Kathleen, I'm closing in on the 2-5 -- married at the 1st Unitarian Church on Cass, reception in the Victorian era mansion next to it. And congrats Raptor... forgot to add that earlier. Regarding the planning, the best advice that I ever got and heeded was to "shut up and show up". LOL | ||
Kathleen Member Username: Kathleen Post Number: 3220 Registered: 10-2003 |
Lowell: What a lovely setting. I attended a wedding in that church about 10 years ago, and of course have visited the church and the McAdow House during Noel Night. You should go back for 25th anniversary photos there!! |
