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Eriedearie
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Username: Eriedearie

Post Number: 3508
Registered: 08-2007
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 3:38 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES.......

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary..

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. The bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now................
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Vetalalumni
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Username: Vetalalumni

Post Number: 1030
Registered: 05-2007
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 3:48 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Good post Eriedearie.
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Rickinatlanta
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Username: Rickinatlanta

Post Number: 242
Registered: 07-2006
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 5:08 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

A dog has Christmas Morning EVERY morning when they wake up....too bad we can't great every day the same way :-)
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Kathinozarks
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Username: Kathinozarks

Post Number: 1850
Registered: 11-2006
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 5:40 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I thank you for posting this as I never get tired of reading it! I have it in my favorites already. Dang, it makes me crack up!
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Ray1936
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Username: Ray1936

Post Number: 3828
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 6:31 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I suspect that is exactly what our cat would write. At least about me, he's a little mellower with the wife........
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Jams
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Username: Jams

Post Number: 7587
Registered: 10-2003
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 8:39 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

from my sister:
TEN PEEVES THAT DOGS HAVE ABOUT HUMANS


'1'
Blaming your farts on me.....
not funny... not funny at all !!!

------------------------------ ------------------
'2'
Yelling at me for barking.
I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG

------------------------------ ------------------
'3'
Taking me for a walk, then
not letting me check stuff out.
Exactly whose walk is this anyway?


------------------------------ ------------------
'4'
Any trick that involves balancing
food on my nose. Stop it!

------------------------------ ------------------
'5'
Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons.
Now you know why we chew your stuff
up when you're not home.


------------------------------ ------------------
'6 '
The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.
You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what
a proud moment for the top of the food chain.


------------------------------ ------------------
'7'
Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!


------------------------------ ------------------
'8'
Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.


------------------------------ ------------------
'9'
Dog sweaters. Hello ???
Haven't you noticed the fur?
------------------------------ ------------------
'10'
How you act disgusted when I lick myself.
Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

------------------------------ ------------------
Now lay off me on some of these things.
We both know who's boss here!
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY.
A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!
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Mama_jackson
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Username: Mama_jackson

Post Number: 471
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Sunday, January 25, 2009 - 8:40 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

LOL! It's too true and very funny! Loved it!
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Sumas
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Username: Sumas

Post Number: 621
Registered: 01-2008
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 10:11 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

All of the above were very funny. I do suggest if you don't want your cat plotting against you get a Persian, got to be the dumbest animal in the world. Their personality is that they have none. Despite that flaw, I adored my Peke Persian, he died four years ago. He lived to be twenty two years old.

Since people are animal lovers here I have a serious question. My dog is an old fat Puggle who was "rescued" so I don't know his history.

I swear he has nightmares, is that possible?
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Jcole
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Username: Jcole

Post Number: 5557
Registered: 04-2005
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 10:29 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Sumas, I think it is possible, even if it's not the same kind of 'nightmare' we have. They may be having some sort of impression of fear while they sleep, or a feeling of not being safe. I know my dogs will whimper, twitch and whine while they sleep sometimes, and they are older dogs, too. One is a rescue and the other is just really old, 15 to be exact.
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Sumas
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Username: Sumas

Post Number: 622
Registered: 01-2008
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 12:32 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Thank you for the advice, our Puggle is also approximately 15 years old. He sleeps with us so when he moans and twitches I have to wake him up and sooth him.

We did have another Persian,not a Peke, that our son dumped on us when he was a teen, after HS he left the state for eight years. In all she was really my cat for about 10 years. Now, THAT, cat could do evil things in pursuit of attention.

If I read the paper or a magazine at the dining room table she would jump up and lay all over it. her nickname was evil Emma. The grossest thing she ever did was jump on the table while I was reading the paper and eating lunch. Lunch was that boxed variety of Mac and Cheese, very orange. She used my plate like a pillow. I pushed her away and there was my orange lunch covered in black fur. It was gross and haven't eaten boxed mac and cheese since.

I miss my cats but glad we still have the dog. When we had them all, bedtime was hilarious since they all slept with us on just a double bed. Everyone jockeyed for position and I was usually odd man out.
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Tarkus
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Username: Tarkus

Post Number: 575
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 12:43 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

ROFL
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Alley
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Username: Alley

Post Number: 1009
Registered: 02-2008
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 6:28 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Once, my last cat Ween attacked me viciously out of the blue when I was pregnant with my daughter. She climbed me like a tree and bit and scratched the living crap out of me, and I got a major bloody nose from the stress on top of everything. It was so scary that, until we could get her fixed a couple days later, I walked around my house with a blowdryer on an extension cord. It was the only thing that would scare her away from me when she gave me the look that she was thinking about going for me.
I don't know why she attacked me, and she never did it again. Most people say she's lucky she still had a home after the first time. My ex stole her from me but I still love her!
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Bigb23
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Username: Bigb23

Post Number: 3501
Registered: 11-2007
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 8:23 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Alley - I had a cat that was doing the same thing, for about 6 months, years after being "fixed"
She would come on out of no place, without reason. Eerie howling, ears pinned, hissing, biting - cripes !

It got to the point, where one more "incident" would result in a one way ticket out the door. I think it had something to do with a new girlfriend I had at the time.

The cat finally had to be put down, at 16 years old. Lived a full life at my house.
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Crystal
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Username: Crystal

Post Number: 366
Registered: 05-2007
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 10:42 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Shameless plug for Leader Dogs for the Blind. This is Future Leader Dog 7856, four month old Bailey.




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Eriedearie
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Username: Eriedearie

Post Number: 3514
Registered: 08-2007
Posted on Monday, January 26, 2009 - 11:25 pm:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Aww Crystal - he's beautiful!

Glad you guys liked the above. I cracked up when I read that and just had to share it with you all.

We had a cat years ago when we lived in Windsor. We named him Midnite cause he was totally black, except for one white whisker. He was such a lovable cat, cuddly and loved to be petted.

Well, one day I was sitting at the dining room table typing out a student's thesis on my portable Royal typewriter. All of a sudden, Midnite jumped on my back and neck and was digging his claws into me. I reached back and grabbed him off of me. He went flying onto the middle of the dining room table and took a leap across the room onto the drapes; he hung there with his claws and proceeded to rip those drapes into ribbons before I could get around the table and pry him off of them.

To this day, I don't know what got into that cat. He never did it again. But I never let him get behind me again either!

This is the same cat that loved to lie on top of the big color console TV set (remember those?). He would lie up there all comfy and stretched out keeping warm from the picture tube. He'd go to sleep up there and when he'd roll over, he'd fall behind the TV, hit the floor and scramble his way back up to the top - look at us like as tho' WE PUSHED HIM! Then he'd go running off somewhere to sulk, leaving us laughing at his antics! Crazy ass cat! We miss him...:-(
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Sumas
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Username: Sumas

Post Number: 626
Registered: 01-2008
Posted on Tuesday, January 27, 2009 - 9:46 am:   Edit PostDelete Post   Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

We have a relative that is a director for Leader Dog, great organization. That picture is adorable. On the Garwood thread there is another great dog picture.

I am not much of a picture taker.

I had this fantastic picture taken by my son of Matilda, my Peke male Persian. It was art quality. I had it at my work station. The boss decided no pictures of kids etc should be on display. Everyone had a picture or two in their work cubicle. I was traveling, when I came back, the picture was gone. The boss was a serious prick. It was the only picture I had of that cat.

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