  Blondy Member Username: Blondy Post Number: 1115 Registered: 10-2003 |
I try to say "Hi" to every person I see walking down the street, so this sounds like a great idea to me. http://www.detroitsynergy.org/ press1/freep%202007-02-16.pdf ""We're trying as a region to have the serious discussions about the problems that divide us," Doyle said. "But we haven't first created the friendly atmosphere. And hello can do that; it's a powerful way to cut across some of the boundaries and to bring people together." | ||
Tetsua Member Username: Tetsua Post Number: 1120 Registered: 01-2004 |
Psssh, been saying "hi" to people as I pass them on the streets for years now (It's common courtesy when you're the only 2 people in such close proximity). Most of the time the people (obvious non city dwellers) that I say hello to, look so freaked out that someone in Detroit said ANYTHING to them. | ||
Korridorkid Member Username: Korridorkid Post Number: 61 Registered: 01-2005 |
I hear you Tetsua...They look like there bracing for the punchline or armed assault. I can't even stand outside my apartment building and have a cigarette without commuting WSU students finger there keychain mace or size up potential escape routes when they walk by me. (I exaggerate a bit. But I also look rather non-threatening. | ||
Mccarch Member Username: Mccarch Post Number: 106 Registered: 12-2003 |
I live in Woodbridge, and I'm shocked, simply shocked, at the wave of white twenty-somethings who have moved into the neighborhood who, if you pass them on the sidewalk, don't make eye contact and don't say hello. I don't want to besmirch all twenty-somethings, as many do make eye contact and say hello, but this is a smaller number than don't. Paranoid? Grouchy? Unfriendly? | ||
Goat Member Username: Goat Post Number: 9239 Registered: 10-2003 |
I think it is more indicative of todays society. How many people hold doors open anymore? How many people help others to carry something when the item is hard to carry? How many people even say please and/or thank you? Welcome to secular society. | ||
Jams Member Username: Jams Post Number: 4820 Registered: 10-2003 |
Hi! | ||
Susanarosa Member Username: Susanarosa Post Number: 1383 Registered: 11-2003 |
One more reason to walk around with an ipod in your ears... But I'm a grouchy twenty-something. | ||
Mccarch Member Username: Mccarch Post Number: 107 Registered: 12-2003 |
Do you live in Woodbridge, Susanarosa? | ||
Mackinaw Member Username: Mackinaw Post Number: 2458 Registered: 02-2005 |
I agree with the premise and all that it stands for. It's the opposite of suburbia, where you are weird if you know your neighbors. | ||
Susanarosa Member Username: Susanarosa Post Number: 1384 Registered: 11-2003 |
No, River Place. | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 11316 Registered: 10-2003 |
quote: I keep wondering how many times you will keep saying hello to me before you get the point! LOL Just kidding of course.  Not sure, but I assume you are black? Simply because you mentioned white 20 somethings. If so, don't feel bad, as it goes both ways. I say hello to most everybody I pass, though occasionally I'll get the person who simply ignores me. I can only assume that it's often because I am white, and the person don't care much for my kind. After the silent treatment, sometimes I will repeat my hello in a louder tone, either that or I'll offer up "YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO!" Hopefully making them feel like a bit of an ass. Something you need to take into account Mccarch, many of these white 20 somethings may be thrown into an environment that they've never dealt with before. One that took me a few years to completely adapt to, which is being in the minority for the first time in your life. It takes a bit of getting used to, and perhaps these youngins are simply going through their quiet phase where they don't want to make eye contact or cause any trouble. Most will probably come outta their shells after they've been down here awhile. I'm out at least once a day, often twice, walking my two red Dobermans. Be sure to say hi if ya spot me, as you'll get a hello in return. As for the grouchy Ipod crowd, it's fun to sneak up on them and scare the shit outta them with the dogs. LOOK OUT SUSANAROSA! | ||
Susanarosa Member Username: Susanarosa Post Number: 1385 Registered: 11-2003 |
Another reason to stay out of Woodbridge... | ||
Dds Member Username: Dds Post Number: 138 Registered: 10-2006 |
How many did you need? | ||
Mtm Member Username: Mtm Post Number: 196 Registered: 06-2006 |
This is weird. I was raised to ALWAYS look people in the eye, smile, and say hello. To me, that was part of the wonder of growing up in the D. I still do, no matter where I am, and I almost always get a hi and a smile in return.  | ||
Mccarch Member Username: Mccarch Post Number: 108 Registered: 12-2003 |
Sorry, I'm rather Caucasianissimo. | ||
Detroit313 Member Username: Detroit313 Post Number: 289 Registered: 02-2006 |
Hi.313 | ||
1953 Member Username: 1953 Post Number: 1314 Registered: 12-2004 |
[I am white] When I am with a black coworker, we generally get a nice 'hello' from every black person we pass. When I am alone, they look away. I feel discriminated against. | ||
Lilpup Member Username: Lilpup Post Number: 1729 Registered: 06-2004 |
quote: oh, now that's a good way to foster friendly relationships  | ||
Charlottepaul Member Username: Charlottepaul Post Number: 557 Registered: 10-2006 |
I think that not saying 'hi' is perhaps more of a generational gap thing than the fact that it is in Detroit. In most urban city centers, people don't say hi to each other; Detroit is no different. It is however a very simple way to make the atmosphere between two strangers much more comfortable. | ||
Buzzman0077 Member Username: Buzzman0077 Post Number: 12 Registered: 11-2006 |
Hi I always thought it was a Northern/Southern difference. Having grown up in suburban 313, and spent a lot of time in the D, I was shocked when I got to Kansas City and so many people I didn't know would say hi to me. I always thought it was too cold in MI and we didn't have the energy to waste on pleasantries like they do in warmer climates. | ||
Traxus Member Username: Traxus Post Number: 62 Registered: 02-2006 |
Hi? I live on WSU campus. I can't imagine being very productive as a student were I to say hi to every person I passed (~200?) each day. I'm sure it would work wonders for my social life though. Brilliant idea though, simple. | ||
Lmichigan Member Username: Lmichigan Post Number: 5159 Registered: 10-2003 |
Buzzman, I was about to say something similar. I thought this was a regional thing, and or urban vs. rural thing. I'm not cold, but I don't say hi when I pass someone on the sidewalk. An eye contact and a nod of acknowledgement is really enough in an urban area. I'm surprised that so many are surprised that not saying 'hi' to people you pass on the sidewalk is strange in a big city. I don't think it has anything to do with age or race, either. The divide is between urban and rural, or north and south, if anything. | ||
Jimaz Member Username: Jimaz Post Number: 1599 Registered: 12-2005 |
quote:I agree. I thought this was a well-known phenomenon. New York City is often cited as an example. It would really be great if this caught on and Detroit gradually became known as "that surprisingly friendly city up north." | ||
Traxus Member Username: Traxus Post Number: 63 Registered: 02-2006 |
Ditto on the nod / eye contact thing, even a smile. Saying hi to everyone I passed would leave me sounding like a broken record. | ||
Jimaz Member Username: Jimaz Post Number: 1600 Registered: 12-2005 |
Just the opposite happened to us last Summer while exiting a Nascar race at the Michigan International Speedway. There was a group who confronted each and every patron leaving the event, angrily accusing them of being a "sinner," presumably for attending such an event. A group of silent Satanists would have been behaving more saintly. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8409 Registered: 12-2003 |
As long as it is sincere, any positive form of acknowledgement can only be a good thing. I really enjoy the responses I get when I'm out jogging downtown...I try to notice everyone I pass and engage them somehow positively. | ||
Rhymeswithrawk Member Username: Rhymeswithrawk Post Number: 328 Registered: 11-2005 |
I say hello to most people I pass and get ignored most of the time. Maybe it's because I'm a white 20-something. | ||
Southwestmap Member Username: Southwestmap Post Number: 707 Registered: 01-2005 |
I do not say hi or hello. I don't like it when strange men say hey or hi to me. Must be a protective strategem. I feel entitled to it. | ||
Southwestmap Member Username: Southwestmap Post Number: 708 Registered: 01-2005 |
I do not say hi or hello. I don't like it when strange men say hey or hi to me. Must be a protective stratagem. I feel entitled to it. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8413 Registered: 12-2003 |
You can be as entitled to your anti-neighborly attitude as you'd like...an attitude is about the ONLY thing one IS entitled to! It does NOTHING to help calm the generational, racial, and sexual frigidity in this town, though. You want to be part of the problem, or the solution? You could always just hang out at the Parasite...and be with others who are a HUGE part of the problem! | ||
Queensfinest Member Username: Queensfinest Post Number: 39 Registered: 08-2006 |
Although it sounds like a nice idea, this could cause a lot problems for a lot of people. I can't imagine this working in a crowded city with a lot of foot traffic. Here in NYC would be the most obvious example. You're kind of raised here to respect what little private space other people have (hopefully) and someone who talks to random strangers or even acknowledges them on the street is considered bothersome. Not saying this is the ways things should be, but it is what it is. I won't bother you and I expect not to be bothered or harassed by a stranger either. I would hope that my girlfriend could walk down the street without being accosted too, but that's another story altogether. | ||
Southwestmap Member Username: Southwestmap Post Number: 709 Registered: 01-2005 |
Gannon, it's all very well for you to criticize. Have you ever been a woman? I think that women, especially walking alone, do not initiate or even respond to most street salutes. As I said, its self-protective. Also, maybe a class/cultural thing. I just can't imagine that my mother and grandmother readily greeted or responded to strangers on the street. I maybe learned this distance from them. I don't apologize. Sorry that you want to make me part of the "problem" when I have otherwise been a huge investor in the City proper. | ||
Beavis1981 Member Username: Beavis1981 Post Number: 291 Registered: 08-2006 |
^ I see your point. Lonely guys can sometimes assume way too much when they get a friendly smile from a attractive woman. | ||
Susanarosa Member Username: Susanarosa Post Number: 1386 Registered: 11-2003 |
I completely agree with southwestmap on this one. | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 11322 Registered: 10-2003 |
quote: Strange, because I feel that I personally prevented myself from getting mugged at gun/knife point BECAUSE I initiated eye contacted and said "Hi, how's it going?" The man crossed the street on a path directly at me one night around midnight on my walk home. When I made eye contact and confronted him, he stopped dead in his tracks and proceeded walking down the middle of the road until he passed me. Predators seek out people who don't make eye contact, are listening to Ipods, and ignoring their surroundings, as they are easy victims. | ||
Johnlodge Member Username: Johnlodge Post Number: 173 Registered: 10-2003 |
This isn't a Detroit problem. If you say "hi" in New York, they'll lock you up in a padded room. | ||
Susanarosa Member Username: Susanarosa Post Number: 1387 Registered: 11-2003 |
Just because you're listening to music, or not making eye contact doesn't mean you're not focusing on your surroundings. Secondly, I don't think any of us females are fearing for our lives, I think we just don't necessarily *need* to hear what crude filth is coming out of their mouths. "Hey bitch, got 75 cents?" doesn't exactly evoke neighborly feelings. | ||
Dabirch Member Username: Dabirch Post Number: 2093 Registered: 06-2004 |
quote: Really? Maybe we should take this offline... | ||
Southwestmap Member Username: Southwestmap Post Number: 712 Registered: 01-2005 |
Supersport, you are a woman? I once looked at some muggers straight on- like a deer in the headlights I could not wrest my eyes from theirs. It was on the sidewalk in front of Henry Ford Hospital. I was leaving after visiting hours. Despite my catonic stare, they plowed into me, knocked me down and tore my handbag from my arm. | ||
Dds Member Username: Dds Post Number: 142 Registered: 10-2006 |
quote: And you saw the gun/knife? How do you know he wasn't asking you out on a date? (Message edited by dds on February 26, 2007) | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 11324 Registered: 10-2003 |
Because I asked him. | ||
Dds Member Username: Dds Post Number: 143 Registered: 10-2006 |
You asked him out? Or you asked to see his gun/knife? Wait, don't tell me, you asked him if he was going to mug you. (Message edited by dds on February 26, 2007) | ||
Supersport Member Username: Supersport Post Number: 11327 Registered: 10-2003 |
Yes. I asked him if he had a gun or a knife, whether he thought I had beautiful eyes, and whether or not he'd like to have lunch some time so we could swap Ipod files. Anything else you'd like to know? | ||
Higgs1634 Member Username: Higgs1634 Post Number: 50 Registered: 10-2005 |
well, yeah. I think we'd all like to know how it worked out between you two. did he like your eyes? did you meet for lunch? | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8421 Registered: 12-2003 |
There is a huge difference between walking on a crowded street and being the ONLY two people on a sidewalk, passing mere feet from one another. I consider it polite to simply say hi and smile, just SO any single female knows that I'm not a threat. I do not take a lack of reply crossly, because of the reasons you site, Southwest...but WHEN a woman acknowledges my politeness there is a definite softening of the encounter, on BOTH sides. You and Susanarosa are right, I did not mean to broadly brush you into society's ills...I am sorry for that. There HAS to be some compromise, though. When I moved to Winter Park, Florida, in the mid-80s...my very first lunch in the park was interrupted three times by young ladies initiating conversation. It was then I discovered how cold and gray and lifeless the cities I knew up north truly were...and that fact stresses me still. South of the Mason-Dixon line, people are just more friendly. Dabirch, I am sorry for painting YOU into the Fudge phenomena...but I think it is absolutely funny that YOU would be the one to defend the worst of them. Bring it off-line indeed! | ||
Detroitrulez Member Username: Detroitrulez Post Number: 165 Registered: 12-2006 |
quote: are you sure it's a softening? | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8423 Registered: 12-2003 |
I typed 'warming' originally, but thought some horny fool might read something into it. Silly me. | ||
Crash_nyc Member Username: Crash_nyc Post Number: 769 Registered: 08-2004 |
Queensfinest pretty much nailed it on the big-city-tip. My experiences in NYC have more often than not been that if a complete stranger greets you out-of-the-blue, they want something from you. The conversation usually starts out with something like "Whassup big guy?" -- or "boss", "chief", etc... proceeding with a sob story that climaxes with "...so I'm $5 short to get a train to Long Island to get back to my kids", or something of that sort. I've experienced it so many times that I don't even bother to stop anymore, It's cold-hearted, but that's city life. | ||
Flappervamp Member Username: Flappervamp Post Number: 1 Registered: 02-2007 |
My husband and I moved to the city 9 years ago from the burbs (where no one ever said hi on the street). We walk our neighborhood nearly every day (Boston-Edison), and started from day one saying hello to neighbors & anyone on the sidewalk. We met all sorts of responses! We're white. Many of our white neighbors looked at us like we were nuts. Some of our black neighbors made it perfectly clear that we were not welcome, but the rest also thought we should be committed. I think the key is to do what's right and wear them down! Always smile, always say hello, compliment their garden, their dog, whatever. Because we're always holding hands (awwww, aren't we cute), people began to let their guard down. Some days our quick walk around the block takes hours because folks we don't even know come out to talk to us. There's lots of reasons that people here aren't friendly - in fact the list seems to be endless! City & suburbs. But grassroots efforts like this can go a long way. We can still be cool, but show some midwestern friendliness! | ||
Flappervamp Member Username: Flappervamp Post Number: 2 Registered: 02-2007 |
As a side note, I was rather disappointed with the attitude of the article. Did anyone else notice that for every argument for the experiment, the writer had some word of discouragement as to how it will never work? Like crabs pulling each other back into the bucket rather than pulling each other out - doing something positive here is an uphill battle! | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8425 Registered: 12-2003 |
Flappervamp, A very huge welcome this gray morning, thanks for YOUR sunshine on the matter. Another drop of refreshing water added to our flow...we all need to remember that it is ALWAYS more difficult to do the right thing. Funny that about mere human nature. Cheers, John | ||
Gtat44 Member Username: Gtat44 Post Number: 38 Registered: 02-2007 |
Hi, Working in the Milwaukee and Lodge area for almost 20 years. I would say HI to everyone I would come across, especially when walking over to the Blvd. for lunch on nice days. But sad to say 5% of the people would respond back in kind. Whether they were black or white, vagrant or professional. The other 95% walked down the street like they were looking for change. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8427 Registered: 12-2003 |
...when YOU are apparently the ONLY one affecting real change... | ||
Detroitrulez Member Username: Detroitrulez Post Number: 167 Registered: 12-2006 |
here's an experiment. Walk around the Circulation Ring at the RenCen saying "hello" to everyone you pass (eliminating redundancies for the reebok-clad office assistants on a cardio break that you will pass on multiple occasions). Let's see how long it takes before security arrives. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8430 Registered: 12-2003 |
Oh yeah, the RenCen has always been the friendliest gray-concrete and copper-glass anthill on the farm...good example. Funny thing, when I went to check out that Borealis sculpture, I had actual conversation with a good number of real people...INCLUDING the security guards, who were curious over my fascination with the sculpture and its failure during construction. All it took was some sincere conversation with them for their guard to come down. Best conversation was with one of their PR guys down in the display area...who didn't know the Saturn 2-seater didn't have room for a spare tire. Heh...he actually went on to say how stupid that would be...until I showed him proof. Wouldn't be stupid if they only had run-flat OEM tires, but as far as I know only BMW is doing that on all their cars. | ||
Corktownmark Member Username: Corktownmark Post Number: 268 Registered: 12-2004 |
Looks like a blanket rule just won't work. a very crowded street, an occasional passerby and a lonely dark street may all call for different attitudes. | ||
Vas Member Username: Vas Post Number: 671 Registered: 01-2004 |
I say hello when I'm happy. I don't when I'm not. I used to think its very important for society and I'm coming around to thinking that again. But sometimes I jsut don't want to speak to people or show my face. | ||
Tetsua Member Username: Tetsua Post Number: 1123 Registered: 01-2004 |
quote: This is more what I was refering to. Many of you have made references to NYC, and stated how crazy a person would look just saying hi to any random person on the street. There's a difference between trying to say "hi" to everyone you would pass during the morning rush downtown during the weekdays, and saying "hi" to the single person you pass while on the Riverwalk (on a Sunday Morning). | ||
1st_sgt Member Username: 1st_sgt Post Number: 30 Registered: 11-2006 |
Of course we greet everyone we pass, as military courtesy ether as we salute or in reply to someone greeting us. Of duty we say "Hay" down here, most everyone replies. It used to be that way in Detroit, my Grandma would take me everywhere on DSR buses and before we got off that bus she had talked and made friends with everyone around her. Some trips to the Heights and Livonia took hours and some transfers but it seemed she knew everyone she came in contact with. People seemed so friendly back then. It's a shame we've lost that. | ||
Lakesuperior Member Username: Lakesuperior Post Number: 165 Registered: 06-2005 |
i love saying hello to people. and as a young, white (seeing as y'all seem to think it matters) woman who lives in midtown and goes all around the city alone, i've had only good experiences greeting people on the street. of course i've ended up in some conversations that i would have rather passed on, but no harm done. also, as far as southwestmap's comments go, when i look a guy in the eye and say hello when we are the only two people walking on the street, i think that he definitely thinks twice about messing with me (were that his intention in the first place). | ||
Urbanize Member Username: Urbanize Post Number: 18 Registered: 02-2007 |
Quote: "Hey bitch, got 75 cents?" doesn't exactly evoke neighborly feelings. Quote: I think that's the problem right there. I don't like to say hi or hello to a bunch of people because I'm self concious to how people may react. Also, a lot of people, particularily in urban environments use a lot of slang. Detroit is a perfect example. If you don't know any slang way of greeting a person, they will laugh at your face or stare at you crazy. | ||
Gannon Member Username: Gannon Post Number: 8492 Registered: 12-2003 |
I genuinely laugh back. It makes for some interesting communal smiles, and IF conversation ensues it opens doors of opportunity to just blow away prejudice and the entire collection of shitty-isms, like racism, classism, sexism...etc. Lakesuperior, I like your attitude, never thought of this as a defense move. It may be likely why I don't suffer some of the same issues that many do...negativity breeds the same. Yet it seemingly multiplies SO much more efficiently than positivity. I'd just rather apply that same function to acceptance, open-ness, tolerance, and love. It is a constant struggle for me to assess my OWN reaction to anyone who approaches me wanting or needing something I've worked hard for...just like everyone else. I just prefer the positive over the negative...it is my basest core value! | ||
Auspower Member Username: Auspower Post Number: 8 Registered: 02-2007 |
I moved to Detroit from Lansing 3 years ago. The first thing I noticed was the unfriendliness of some people. Not all were like this, but a vast majority were. People on the street walking by is one thing, it is hard if you are walking past lots of people, but if you are walking along the riverfront or buying something at a subway I found it really hard to adapt to not saying anything. I was looked at like I was an alien for saying "Hi, how are you" before ordering my burger. When I go back to Lansing and the fast food lady says "Hi how are you today" I look at her and it takes a few seconds to realize she is making small talk and I am supposed to respond. Originally I am from Australia in a very small town with population 2000 so the adjustment was incredible. It went from impossible to walk down the 150 yard long street without talking to at least 20 people to just trying to get a hi out of a passer by. I own a business in the restaurant type in Detroit and my employees are constantly praised with how friendly they are. We have stressed how important it is to say "hi" and at least make eye contact with the guests. It is an uphill battle though. I see the same people walk by daily and I try and say hi if am outside. A lot of the time though they look the other way as though they are afraid of simply saying "Hi". This is a great idea and if we all spread the word then it can catch on. Reading this I will now go back to how I used to be in Lansing (not Australia, I may get arrested if I start asking strangers how there kids are doing). When ordering something at a fast food restaurant I am not going to place the order until they have acknowledged I exist by answering my simple question "How are you doing today" | ||
Eastsidedame Member Username: Eastsidedame Post Number: 3 Registered: 12-2006 |
It's not unfriendliness, it's fear. When I moved to Texas in 1980, everyone said "Hi" whether they knew you or not. I WAS FRIGHTENED! I would think, "how do they know me?", "do they want to rob (or worse) me?". Eventually, I started saying "hello" too. Then a lot of people from places where it's not the norm, started moving here and they didn't acknowledge the greeting, so everyone quit doing it. I still say hello to people I see in my neighborhood when I walk the dog, but otherwise, no. Often, though, I get "Hola". Well, at least it's a "hello"! Things won't change until people feel safe. Make people feel safe, first, then convince them to talk to strangers. | ||
Revolutionary Member Username: Revolutionary Post Number: 126 Registered: 09-2004 |
I shout bible verses at people and as they pass, I quietly ask them if I can get a cigarette. |
