Discuss Detroit Archives - Beginning January 2007 Detroit Barbie Previous Next
Top of pageBottom of page

Crash_nyc
Member
Username: Crash_nyc

Post Number: 773
Registered: 08-2004
Posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 5:22 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

I know this has been floating around on the 'net for a while, but it's just too good not to post...
_________________________

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater Detroit market:

"Birmingham Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at The Galleria. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey
and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face </font>
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

"Canton/Farmington Hills Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation.
Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"Westland or Taylor Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a
Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ....unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

"West Bloomfield or Bloomfield Hills Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.
Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also
available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.

"Waterford Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud
light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's
butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag
bumper sticker absolutely free.

"Royal Oak Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit
and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available
as well as warehouse conversion condo.

"Downriver Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Butler
B arbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a
see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

"Ferndale Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her
Willow She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Point Breeze Barbies
and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

"8 Mile Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories
include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very
difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"Novi Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always
out a-'huntin'.

"Woodward Avenue Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply
adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.
Top of pageBottom of page

56packman
Member
Username: 56packman

Post Number: 1051
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 6:54 am: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

It just isn't as funny without pictures

http://delbueno.net/index.php/ site/poking_fun_at_the_mitten_ detroit_in_particular/

we covered this in January
Top of pageBottom of page

Stromberg2
Member
Username: Stromberg2

Post Number: 7
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 9:06 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Where is the Monroe Barbie?

Stromberg2
Top of pageBottom of page

Urbanize
Member
Username: Urbanize

Post Number: 36
Registered: 02-2007
Posted on Friday, March 02, 2007 - 9:21 pm: Edit PostDelete PostMove Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Monroe isn't necessarily apart of the "Metro Detroit area" like the other places. However, we still love ya guys down there. We share our news with y'all, our ariel coverage of the state with y'all. y'all are holding down Laz-A-Boy furniture for us.

Add Your Message Here
Posting is currently disabled in this topic. Contact your discussion moderator for more information.