 
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5652
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.42.168.211
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:01 am: |    |
Islandman, it is time to launch the assault on Livonia's cultural institutions. Begin surveilance of the bowling alleys. |
Mcdirt
Member
Username: Mcdirt
Post Number: 30
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 65.29.98.237
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:59 am: | |
Farmington will not interfere with action against the bowling alleys. But should Livonia's Papa Romanos be assaulted, we will consider that an aggressive act againt a sovereign pizza power. |
Arab_guyumich
Member
Username: Arab_guyumich
Post Number: 765
Registered: 12-2004
Posted From: 69.14.179.212
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:20 am: | |
The Livonians are devastatingly effective with their domestic propaganda. We should all fear the Livonians' expertise in pep rally psy/ops...*shudder*
 |
Lmichigan
Member
Username: Lmichigan
Post Number: 3292
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 67.172.95.197
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 4:54 am: | |
I can't believe I missed this!
Comedic gold, my friend. Pure, comedic gold is what this is.
To help in the seige of Livonia, we must raise water rates to ridiculously high prices, and cut the lines. lol
After Livonia falls, forward on to Fortress Warren. |
Naturalsister
Member
Username: Naturalsister
Post Number: 488
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 68.42.169.65
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 5:42 am: | |
This just in...
I have to report that many troops have been spotted at the AMC Livonia 20 - they're holed up in theatre 11.
They're saying that the meals ready to eat couldn't compare to the hot dogs, Peanut M&Ms, and the Diet Coke.
Gen. Itsjeff - you need to pass new orders immediately. Our cameras can clearly see that the enemy has sniper soccer Moms on the Meijer roof. They're sitting ducks!!!!!
later - naturalsister reporting for DetroitYes News Up to the minute. |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5653
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.42.168.211
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 8:40 am: | |
 |
Pam
Member
Username: Pam
Post Number: 119
Registered: 11-2005
Posted From: 67.107.47.65
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 9:06 am: | |
I can't support this war, I have loved ones in Livonia. I'm declaring myself Switzerland.
In the meantime- stop that other war too:
http://www.womensaynotowar.org /article.php?id=799 |
Jt1
Member
Username: Jt1
Post Number: 6924
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 198.208.251.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 10:35 am: | |
It has recently come to my attention that some of the more vocal Livonians may still be protesting outside the zoo.
Please proceed with caution in capturing these Livonians. The trick is to find them, they look like everybody else.
If we can capture some of the pro-zoo protesters it will be a major blow to the collective Livonian ego. |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2589
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.251.27.41
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 10:45 am: | |
Special Forces Commander Zulu Warrior giving discussion to troops over mission plans
Theater Commander Itsjeff joins mission breifing |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2535
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 10:56 am: | |
General ItsJeff local guerillas have given me intelligence that the Livonians plan to infiltrate New Detroit via Schoolcraft. Should I take a squad of Engineers and crater that avenue of approach? |
Jt1
Member
Username: Jt1
Post Number: 6927
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 198.208.251.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:06 am: | |
I believe that we will need to create a moat. Many of the combative soccer moms drive SUVs larger than your average home.
A crater won't stop that, now will a small hill of debris. |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2590
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.251.27.41
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:10 am: | |
Undercover Zulu Special forces operative gives a report from the Laurel Park Place operation
 |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5657
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 208.27.111.125
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:15 am: | |
Negative, DetroitStylin!
Disregard all contact from the local guerrrillas. They are only trying to seduce you. Uh, into a false sense of security. |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5658
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 208.27.111.125
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:16 am: | |
ZuluWarrior, I am assuming that you will want to tap that... suspect... for information. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2536
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:33 am: | |
 |
Jt1
Member
Username: Jt1
Post Number: 6928
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 198.208.251.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:34 am: | |
Commander Zulu - I recommend that we bring in Skulker's special ops team. It is well documented that Skulker hates buildings and may be an asset to the cause.
Skulker and his team may be able to demolish numerous buildings in Livonia. We can take down the city offices overnight with Skulker's crack team.
His hatred of buildings knows no limits and will be a major asset to our cause. |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2592
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.251.27.41
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:34 am: | |
She is an undercover op in disguise.
Her real name is LaQuanda Rachelle Jones, a Graduate of Mackenzie High. She has undergone extensive make up and artificial surgery to get in to her role as a Soccer Mom in Livonia.
She reports to me
 |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 145
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:50 am: | |
Mayor Kilpatrick Addresses the City
The Executive Office
10:16 P.M. EST
THE MAYOR: My fellow citizens, at this hour, Detroit and coalition forces are in the early stages of military operations to disarm Livonia, to free its people and to defend the state from grave danger.
On my orders, coalition forces have begun striking selected targets of military importance to undermine Jack Engebretson's ability to wage war. These are opening stages of what will be a broad and concerted campaign. More than 35 Cities are giving crucial support -- from the use of garbage trucks and urban assault vehicles, to help with intelligence and logistics, to the deployment of patrol units. Every city in this coalition has chosen to bear the duty and share the honor of serving in our common defense.
To all the men and women of the Detroit Police now in Western Wayne County, the peace of a troubled county and the hopes of an oppressed people now depend on you. That trust is well placed.
The enemies you confront will come to know your skill and bravery. The people you liberate will witness the honorable and decent spirit of the DPD. In this conflict, Detroit faces an enemy who has no regard for the health of our region or rules of morality. Jack Engebretson has opted out of SMART, and is attempting to use innocent men, women and children as shields for his own police department -- a final atrocity against his people.
I want Detroiters and all the state to know that coalition forces will make every effort to spare innocent civilians from harm. A campaign on the harsh terrain of a city as large as Lansing could be longer and more difficult than some predict. And helping Livonians achieve a united, stable and free city will require our sustained commitment.
We come to Livonia with respect for its citizens, for their great shopping centers and for the religious faith they practice. We have no ambition in Livonia, except to remove a threat and restore control of that city to its own people.
We also will be breaking ground soon on a new $30 million detention facility in the city of Detroit, thanks to the voters of the city who approved Proposal S last summer. This facility will advance our ability to detain people that are enemies of democracy and freedom.
I know that the families of our police force are praying that all those who serve will return safely and soon. Thousands of Detroiters are praying with you for the safety of your loved ones and for the protection of the innocent. For your sacrifice, you have the gratitude and respect of the citizens of Detroit. And you can know that our forces will be coming home as soon as their work is done.
Our city enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The people of Detroit and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of terror. We will meet that threat now, with our Police Department, so that we do not have to meet it later with armies of fire fighters and doctors on the streets of our neighborhoods.
Now that conflict has come, the only way to limit its duration is to apply decisive force. And I assure you, this will not be a campaign of half measures, and we will accept no outcome but victory.
My fellow citizens, the dangers to our city and the state will be overcome. We will pass through this time of peril and carry on the work of peace. We will defend our freedom. We not not let Livonia ruin the NCAA Regional finals in 2008 and Final Four in 2009 … the NCAA wrestling championships in 2007 … the Head Start conference in 2006 … the AKA Boule Convention in 2006 … the NAACP convention in 2007 … the annual North American International Auto Show. We will bring freedom to others and we will prevail.
May God bless our city and all who defend her.
END 10:20 P.M. EST |
Hornwrecker
Member
Username: Hornwrecker
Post Number: 892
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 206.148.169.110
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:55 am: | |
Itsjeff, I did the recruiting poster like you asked, but you might want to rethink the slogan. I'm not sure it carries the right message...
... then again, maybe it does. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2537
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:58 am: | |
I have recieved more critical intelligence from partisian forces sympathetic to our cause...
For all field commanders...be extra cautious as you patrol the cul de sacs of Livonia as it seems that there are a high proportion of them seem to be card carrying NRA members, so expect any resistance to be heavily armed...
 |
Arab_guyumich
Member
Username: Arab_guyumich
Post Number: 767
Registered: 12-2004
Posted From: 141.217.98.125
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:01 pm: | |
Best. Thread. Ever. |
Lt_tom
Member
Username: Lt_tom
Post Number: 72
Registered: 06-2004
Posted From: 144.147.1.66
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:03 pm: | |
Hello there, need any attachments? I'm a combat engineer officer with experience in OIF. In college, while driving in a nice car in Livonia, I was detained by Livonian Security Forces (aka the LPD) and was charged with what they called "reckless driving". I've got a bone to pick with them. Perhaps I could bring some Uparmored bulldozers to plow down City Hall after the final victory |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 146
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:12 pm: | |
Lt_Tom,
You might be needed to pull down that Jack Engebretson statue. |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5662
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 208.27.111.125
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:15 pm: | |
Hornwrecker, you know me too well.
Lt. Tom, I'm sorry but I already have plans to turn Livonia City Hall into a home for Hispanic unwed mothers. Are there any other parts of the city that you'd like to raze? |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 147
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:16 pm: | |
Why is Detroit invading Livonia when Livonia has never attacked Detroit? |
Hornwrecker
Member
Username: Hornwrecker
Post Number: 893
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 206.148.169.110
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:18 pm: | |
You better stop by the Meat Museum and stock up; looks like the City is preparing for the long haul. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2538
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:20 pm: | |
Damn first gas now we have to ration our food as well?! |
E_hemingway
Member
Username: E_hemingway
Post Number: 512
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 68.42.176.123
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:20 pm: | |
Ohhhh... What you don't know Iseries. May I invite you to learn all about the attrocities that have occurred in Livonia at one of New Detroit's "re-education" camps. It'll be a learning experience that you'll never want, or be able, to leave. |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 148
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:29 pm: | |
Detroit doesnt have the budget to police the entire county. Why are we taking on this war at the same time we are laying off police officers? |
Jams
Member
Username: Jams
Post Number: 2866
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.79.99.68
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:31 pm: | |
It's an All-Volunteer force.
They choose to do their duty. |
Lowell
Board Administrator
Username: Lowell
Post Number: 2338
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.167.210.54
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:41 pm: | |
My spies have reported that the Livonian Revolutionary Guard is preparing to issue a shoot to kill edict on any pedestrians since they are more likely to be infiltrators than patriotic Livonians. This edict extends to buses for the same reason. Passage on public throughways will be permitted by automobile only.
Meanwhile alarm is spreading through the Farmingtons about the potential fallout of being inundated by Livonian refugees. A sympathetic bill is now working its way through council whereby the Farmingtons will provide refugees free transport on their SMART fleet ~through~ the Farmingtons for those lucky enough to make it to the border. |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5663
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 208.27.111.125
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:44 pm: | |
I think Iseries is a suspected Suburbanite. Perhaps a visit to Abu Wayne County Lockup is in order?
People, there are important stakes in play here. The best available evidence clearly shows that Livonians are in posession of weapons of mass bar-b-que. Weapons of this sort cannot be entrusted to lilly white Suburbanites or their supporters.
My orders are to march on Livonia, sieze the bar-b-que equipment and return it to me for inspection.
Godspeed you. |
Hornwrecker
Member
Username: Hornwrecker
Post Number: 894
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 63.41.8.220
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:49 pm: | |
I found this while browsing around some Livonia web site.
The propaganda war is starting to turn nasty. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2539
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:51 pm: | |
oooooooooooh....
*ouch* |
Jt1
Member
Username: Jt1
Post Number: 6930
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 198.208.251.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 12:55 pm: | |
Itsjeff is a ghost?
I have heard from formal intelligence that many Livonia teens are trying to speak slang. Do not let this sway your mission.
We will be preparing material on how to detect 'MTV street slang' so that you may identify the children of the enemy.
If you hear a teen imitating lil John you may have to bring them in for questioning. Terms like G, homie and the motion of hitting fists are also seen as suspect from the children of the enemy. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2540
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:07 pm: | |
Latest reports shows a splinter faction of extremist fundamentalist Livonians, who seem to be recieving material support from Ann Arbor. A recent raid on the site of the former Chi CHi's at Schoolcraft and I-96 has uncovered this:
LLF (Livonia Liberation Front)propaganda poster
LLF Battle Flag |
Hornwrecker
Member
Username: Hornwrecker
Post Number: 895
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 63.41.8.220
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:08 pm: | |
The wine and cheese set is starting to mobilize.
I'm not sure, but I think that the "Brideshead Revisited" approach is not the correct way to go about recruiting, but what do I know. |
Ohudson
Member
Username: Ohudson
Post Number: 125
Registered: 09-2004
Posted From: 147.240.236.9
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:10 pm: | |
Weapons of Mass Bar-B-Que!!!
Ah shucky shucky now, count this brotha in!!! Maybe once we take over Livonia we could raid the Bar-B-Que reserves and use it for one big family cookout on Belle Isle!!!
That's what this war is all about anyway, the Bar-B-Que....... |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 149
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:15 pm: | |
Don't forget to secure the Propane Tanks at Home Depot.
We need that fuel. |
Jams
Member
Username: Jams
Post Number: 2867
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 70.229.47.169
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:20 pm: | |
Cmdr Itsjeff,
I suggest you have Iseries840 closely watched.
Propane? True Detroiters use only DTE natural gas or kerosine space heaters. |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5664
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 208.27.111.125
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:22 pm: | |
I am proud to report that General Zulu Warrior's first raid has been a glorious success. He has taken several prisoners of war. In accordance with the Lansing Convention, I now announce the following Livonians have been sent to Abu Wayne County Lockup: Lauren, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira and Ian. |
Ohudson
Member
Username: Ohudson
Post Number: 126
Registered: 09-2004
Posted From: 147.240.236.9
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:24 pm: | |
What about Sarah? Damn, she got away again!! |
Naturalsister
Member
Username: Naturalsister
Post Number: 489
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 70.8.19.161
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:39 pm: | |
This just in...
Recent report on Livonia teens speaking slang have been severly under-estimated. This whole movement of whites towards Hip-Hop culture is suspected of being a plot increase the likelyhood of suburbanites taking back the inner-city.
Research has shown an extreme dissatisfaction with the new proliferation of psuedo-metropoli being built within the sprawl. The suburban residents have stated that they will not be pacified by developments such as 'The Village of Rochester Hills'.
Becky Ann, Farmington - "I will not continue to patronize this fake city-scape with all of these cookie-cutter shops. I want a real city damn-it! I buy my sons Timberlands and they have Ipods and XM Sattellite Radio so they can listen to Snoop Dog and 50 Cent. You think a new Target will satisfy us? NO WAY!!!!! I tried to tell my friend Kate, but she didn't believe me - the revolution will not be televised!!!! For sheezy greasy!!"
__Off camera she added that she dated a black guy in college.
There you have it, in her own words, a woman whose name has been changed to protect the innocent.
This is NaturalSister reporting live from Farmington for DetroitYes News Up to the minute. |
Jt1
Member
Username: Jt1
Post Number: 6936
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 198.208.251.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:42 pm: | |
quote:Off camera she added that she dated a black guy in college.
She also stated that she has a lot of black friends. She is worried how this war will affect their frienship as her black friends, you know, live in Detroit. |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 150
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:48 pm: | |
Jams,
Are you trying to Swiftboat me? |
Jams
Member
Username: Jams
Post Number: 2868
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 70.229.47.169
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:50 pm: | |
Abu Wayne County Lockup?
Didn't you read that proposal I sent you in that Haliburton briefcase. We've gone through a lot of time and energy setting up this no-bid contract for the dentention camp on Zug Island.
We've purchased all the used tents at the Salvation Army Store at ten cents on the dollar we could find. Our subsidiary food companies are combing Eastern Market, after the workers go home, for provisions for the detainees. Also have arranged delivery for 1000 school buses from New Orleans as transportation.
I think the price we discussed will give you a nice retirement in addition to the speaking engagements we've arranged for you at the conclusion of the engagement.
Edit:Make sure this letter is marked "Top Secret". We don't want the Press to get their hands on it.
(Message edited by JamS on March 08, 2006) |
Iseries840
Member
Username: Iseries840
Post Number: 151
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 12.31.43.24
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 1:53 pm: | |
At least we have our strong mayor Kwame Kilpatrick to lead us to victory. Just think of where we would be if we had to rely on Freman Hendrix. |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2593
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.251.27.41
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:10 pm: | |
Zulu Special Forces have over Run Livonia Churchill
Our Feild Commander Lamar Lemmons XX
 |
Naturalsister
Member
Username: Naturalsister
Post Number: 490
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 70.8.19.161
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:29 pm: | |
Hello again,
This is NaturalSister reporting for DetroitYes News.
We will have a series of updates concerning the war and the possible involvement of Warren Mayor Mark Steenbergh...
and what the attendance of Eminen @ Warren Lincoln High School has to do with all of this.
All of that and much more, live at 5 on DetroitYes News.
Back to the studio... |
Super_d
Member
Username: Super_d
Post Number: 754
Registered: 08-2005
Posted From: 69.245.69.46
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:37 pm: | |
Urgent Memo to Major 'Zulu_warrior'!
If needed I can send to you the following special forces units.
Dexter Dogs(west-side)
7 mile Dogs(west-side)
Zone 8's (west-side)
LP Players (east-side)
Mack and Bewick Dogs.(east-side)
LLL 444 Lynch Mob.(east-side)
all units are heavily armed and ready.
super d OUT!
super d(motordetroit) |
Jams
Member
Username: Jams
Post Number: 2869
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 70.229.47.169
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 2:54 pm: | |
What about Danny's pack of Ghetto Dogs? |
Lowell
Board Administrator
Username: Lowell
Post Number: 2339
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.167.210.54
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:05 pm: | |
Congratulations to Maj. Zulu and his impis who have won their greatest victory since Isandlwana.
But what are you doing to protect Livonia's art collections and cultural assets?
[off stage garble speech] What? [off stage garble speech repeated]
Oops, my bad; I have just been informed that there are none. Carry on then. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2541
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:08 pm: | |
Lowell if you are referring to those annoying lawn elfs then they have been (mercifully) destroyed during the campaign... |
Alsodave
Member
Username: Alsodave
Post Number: 711
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 24.221.73.69
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:33 pm: | |
Good news indeed. |
E_hemingway
Member
Username: E_hemingway
Post Number: 514
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 68.42.176.123
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 3:35 pm: | |
That kitten graphic is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. My girlfriend and I laughed so hard at it that we started crying. |
Detourdetroit
Member
Username: Detourdetroit
Post Number: 170
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 64.12.116.204
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 4:07 pm: | |
Field Commander Lamar Lemmons has just informed our offices that artillery has temporarily ceased shelling a sector known as Rosedale Gardens.
Apparently, troops under Commander Lemmons have determined this area to have historic significance and have signaled that it may be worthy of a different approach. Commander Lemmons awaits orders from General Zulu Warrior.
While I cannot vouch for the citizenry of this area, the Livonian Minister of Culture did notify these offices in a telex that Rosedale Gardens as well as several burial sites and vestigial farmsteads exist and should be given special consideration.
My recommendation to leadership is to treat the containment of the Rosedale Gardens quadrant using alternative techniques. Possibly a battalion of brick and slate roofing specialists could be sent in under military escort to offer peaceful surrender and rehab advice in exchange for use as a command/control center for future ops. |
Hornwrecker
Member
Username: Hornwrecker
Post Number: 896
Registered: 04-2005
Posted From: 63.41.8.81
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 4:55 pm: | |
 |
Naturalsister
Member
Username: Naturalsister
Post Number: 491
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 70.8.113.47
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 6:38 pm: | |
NaturalSister reporting from a location that I cannot disclose, but I'm here with the Mayor.
Your Honor, do you have any comments about the campaign?
"Who me? I won the election, fair and square!"
No, sir - I mean the war campaign against Livonia.
"Power to the People!!!!!"
Mayor do you have any clue as to why Mayor Steenbergh said what he said about you recently?
"They just want our water! They can all kiss my @#%*?!/@*!"
But Mayor, what about the rumor that had Eminem at the Manoogian?
"What?" "Quit buying prostitutes, fat ass!"
But sir, I'm not fat.
"I was talking to Steve Wilson."
Your Honor, what about LB Patterson?
"Who?"
NaturalSister reporting live... back to the studio. |
Lmichigan
Member
Username: Lmichigan
Post Number: 3293
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 67.172.95.197
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 7:16 pm: | |
quote:I am proud to report that General Zulu Warrior's first raid has been a glorious success. He has taken several prisoners of war. In accordance with the Lansing Convention, I now announce the following Livonians have been sent to Abu Wayne County Lockup: Lauren, Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira and Ian.
OMFG, ItsJeff! You're are killing me, here! L O L ! Funniest Post Ever.
This just in, a Lansing brigage coming to aid Detroit has been captured after having come down I-96 and being taken prisoner by hostile Novians that are in cahoots with the Livonians. They've been taken to Wonderland Mall, where they are awaiting rescue. |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2543
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 7:29 pm: | |
I think that we may have a leak among the ranks. I have just recieved this email on my LAW21 HUD
Communication security is pertinant people!
 |
Alsodave
Member
Username: Alsodave
Post Number: 712
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 24.221.73.69
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 7:32 pm: | |
LMichigan,
A contingent of the Farmington Underground Network (F.U.N.) will be dispatched to Wonderland. It's dangerous, but F.U.N. will be dressed with Craig DeRoche buttons and "No Wal-Mart in Livonia" fliers--they should blend right in. Wish them luck. |
Lmichigan
Member
Username: Lmichigan
Post Number: 3294
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 67.172.95.197
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 7:37 pm: | |
Godspeed, F.U.N., Godspeed. Be sure to tell those along the way that the "darky" civilians are infiltrating from the east. That will buy you precious time to hasten our escape. |
Spaceman_spiff
Member
Username: Spaceman_spiff
Post Number: 4
Registered: 02-2006
Posted From: 24.56.252.143
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 8:03 pm: | |
I volunteer for the detroityes air/space program. I know that I lack experience in detroityes battle tactics, but my experiences with Livonia's police department will be invaluable. If they force a strategic retreat on any of our men and women in uniform skateboarding behind the Shelden Pool/Foodland, I know of a safe house nearby (Thanks Mrs. H).
- Spiff
(Message edited by spaceman spiff on March 08, 2006) |
Jimaz
Member
Username: Jimaz
Post Number: 354
Registered: 12-2005
Posted From: 68.2.191.57
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 8:22 pm: | |
Deploy ICBPs! - Intercontinental Ballistic Paczki! By now they have thoroughly cured into WMD - Weapons of Mass Density (slighty softer than depleted uranium). |
Itsjeff
Member
Username: Itsjeff
Post Number: 5670
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 68.42.168.211
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 8:31 pm: | |
I bring news of more success from General Zulu Warrior.
His troop was sent to Livonia's Rosedale Park to investigate DetroutDetroit's request for a peaceful occupation of that neighborhood.
Ten minutes after his troops arrived, the entire neighborhood rented a U-Haul and vacated.
Huzzah!
 |
Detroit_stylin
Member
Username: Detroit_stylin
Post Number: 2545
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 66.202.227.12
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 8:34 pm: | |
Immeadiately after the Zulu Brigade marched into the area a sudden flurry of activity exploded in the area with this repeated slogan:
(Message edited by Detroit_stylin on March 08, 2006) |
Lilpup
Member
Username: Lilpup
Post Number: 884
Registered: 06-2004
Posted From: 64.12.116.204
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 8:52 pm: | |
Ann Arbor has lodged a formal complaint and has provided monitors with evidence that assistance to the Livonians is being provided by Canton and Northville.
Monitors report tension along the Ypsilanti/Belleville/Canton borders |
Naturalsister
Member
Username: Naturalsister
Post Number: 492
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 68.42.169.65
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 9:02 pm: | |
Lilpup, are you willing to go on camera at DetroitYes News with this? I'd like to go on live at 11?
NaturalSister - reporting... |
Alsodave
Member
Username: Alsodave
Post Number: 713
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 24.221.73.69
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 9:07 pm: | |
Thanks to the efforts of General Zulu Warrior and his excellent team, and a strategically-placed SMART bus with a "Dave Chapelle's Block Party" advert plastered on its side, the Lansing Brigade was able to sneak out with the retreating Rosedalians. The entire operation was momentarily put into jeopardy when one of our younger F.U.N. members was overheard complaining about sprawl and it's impact on the ecology. The day was saved by a quick thinking older member who proclaimed, "yeah, and the greenhouse effect is causing the polar ice caps to melt." A hearty laugh was shared by all and the freed Brigade continued on their way back home. |
Lilpup
Member
Username: Lilpup
Post Number: 885
Registered: 06-2004
Posted From: 64.12.116.204
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 9:08 pm: | |
I have limited information as not all of the monitors' reports have been received yet, especially from the areas of heaviest engagement, but will provide what information I can. |
Thnk2mch
Member
Username: Thnk2mch
Post Number: 43
Registered: 02-2006
Posted From: 71.65.11.152
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 9:14 pm: | |
ECRTE-SA ESSAGE-MA O-TA AYLOR-TA...
INE-LA ALL-YA 4X4'S LONG-A ELEGRAPH-TA...
S.O.S |
Lmichigan
Member
Username: Lmichigan
Post Number: 3295
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 67.172.95.197
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 9:40 pm: | |
All be warned that Livingston County is secretly providng aid and memebers to the Livonia resistence movement. The Michigan Militia is said to be entrenched along I-96 in Kensington Metropark providing another front to any Detroiters and their support that hope to push back further to the west.
On the political front, there has been intelligence reports from Lansing that Craig DeRouche plans a secret coup to overthrow Governess Granholm, and dissolve the Michigan house and senate, making himself Supreme Sprawlmaster DeRoche. He will first try a vote of no confidence, and will proceed with strong plans if that does not work, "Dick DeVos and West Michigan be damned" he was quoted with saying in the closed, secret meeting. |
E_hemingway
Member
Username: E_hemingway
Post Number: 516
Registered: 11-2004
Posted From: 68.42.176.123
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:02 pm: | |
General Itsjeff: Sir, the street prophets are saying that Livingston County is mobilizing its infamous white brigade while pledging support for the Livonian cause. Further intelligence reports produced this picture from the Howell area.
 |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2595
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 205.188.116.137
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:22 pm: | |
The assualt on the Observer and Eccentic HQ (Ministry of Propaganda)
 |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2596
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 205.188.116.137
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:33 pm: | |
Urgent message
Flash Track
0200 hours Zulu time
8 March 2006
To: Lt. Dstylin
Fr: Commander Zulu Warrior
Re: Inkster Forces
------------------------------ -------------------
Send troops to Inkster for Northwesterly Advance deep into Livonia's Rear.
Need West Side Players, Earl Flynn's, and Sconi divisions to reinforce YBI advance.
Ready for the deep fight
Zulu out.
Sonqoba Simunye! |
Soulaholic
Member
Username: Soulaholic
Post Number: 4
Registered: 07-2005
Posted From: 68.42.91.130
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 - 11:43 pm: | |
Livonia is mobilizing the troops!
(Message edited by Soulaholic on March 08, 2006) |
Alsodave
Member
Username: Alsodave
Post Number: 714
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 69.209.129.95
| | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 12:03 am: | |
Here's a recon photo of Livingston's Ops Center:
In order to maintain their cover, F.U.N. operatives were forced to order country style biscuits and gravy. At checkout, they had to purchase a "Best of Charlie Daniels" CD. War is hell... |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2598
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 152.163.100.8
| | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 12:04 am: | |
"Now there's another thing I want you to remember. I don't want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We're not holding anything. Let the Livonian do that. We are advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're going to go through him like crap through a goose."
Lt. Commander Lamar Lemmons XX
 |
Soulaholic
Member
Username: Soulaholic
Post Number: 5
Registered: 07-2005
Posted From: 68.42.91.130
| | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 12:08 am: | |
Miss Livonia 2006 says a prayer every night that Livonia stays how it should be the way god made it !
 |
Zulu_warrior
Member
Username: Zulu_warrior
Post Number: 2600
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 152.163.100.8
| | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 12:18 am: | |
Homeless Kids in Livionia, rescued from a life time of psychotic white priveledge...
 |
Lmichigan
Member
Username: Lmichigan
Post Number: 3296
Registered: 10-2003
Posted From: 67.172.95.197
| | Posted on Thursday, March 09, 2006 - 2:15 am: | |
Soulaholic, LOL!
A note to pass on, a good way to spot the Livonia forces before you even see them is to listen for the Livonian Battle Hymn:
"God Bless the U.S.A." - Lee Greenwood
Another note, Detroit army, be wary of Livonian women who will try to entice you across the border to lead to your destruction. Do not let them take you home to daddy, I repeat, do not let them take you home to daddy. |
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Are we going to war with Livonia? - 2
